FOR THREE YEARS we used this line as an icebreaker at parties, “There are no honest lawyers.” Nobody ever disagreed.

IN 1986 WE PRINTED THIS OPINION in our then-Lerner Skyline column, based on hundreds of stories we’ve heard from unhappy clients, victimized clients, the rich and famous and the “little guys.”

ONLY ONE LAWYER stood up and said we were wrong, only one legal eagle in the entire county took issue with our comment. He was self-proclaimed honest lawyer Patrick S. Moore who challenged us by filing a class action suit seeking $300 million in damages. He said the 30,000 Cook County lawyers were party to the insult, which he called libelous.

WE WENT TO COURT AND THE JUDGE THREW OUT MOORE’S SUIT BECAUSE OF THE FIRST AMENDMENT FREE SPEECH RIGHTS.

IF MOORE HAD WON HIS SUIT, we had hoped to ask each reader who had a bad experience with a lawyer to send us a dollar. We’re sure it would have been enough to pay any fine.

SOME OF OUR BEST FRIENDS ARE LAWYERS. WE EVEN BOAST A LAWYER IN OUR IMMEDIATE FAMILY.

IT SEEMS THAT EVERY DAY brings word of innocent people victimized by lawyers, or stock brokers, or Madoff-like investment types, or conmen of every ilk. Where have all the honest people gone? Or were there any there in the first place?

WE HOPE THIS COLUMN CAUSES 30,000 lawyers in Cook County to stand up and bellow their anger!

LET’S HEAR IT FOR THE GOOD GUYS!

WHO IS THE THIRD WIFE of an older mega-millionaire who may be trying to kill him? They are the last to leave any party, where she plies him with booze, cigarettes and rich food. His insurance and her pre-nup must be hefty.

WHO IS THE SUPER-RICH TYCOON who has worn a bulletproof vest since he and his partner called it quits? With extra security and beefed-up office personnel, he’s taking no chances. “Better paranoid than dead,” he says.

HOW IS YOUR 2012 DIET COMING? Less weight means less chance of diabetes, cancer, heart problems, etc., say medics. To inspire you, we offer pix of dim-witted Paris Hilton (smart enough to keep a svelte figure); pretty, slim Karen Williams (wearing a Quinton de Alexander creation); and socialite Cookie Cohen, also in a design from Alexander. If they can do it, you can too. Put down that cupcake, now!

DO GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES? Bachelor Ron Hoffman, former national judo champ, bodyguard for the pope and Hollywood celebs, does and he met an ultimate blonde, actress Michelle Williams at the recent Palm Springs Film Festival. Michelle did a successful portrayal of the queen of all blondes, Marilyn Monroe, in the film My Week with Marilyn.

JAY LENO’S PERFORMANCE at the benefit for at-risk youth April 28 for the Omni Organization is one hot ticket. It will be at the Cadillac Palace Theater and marks the 40th year for this worthy group which has helped 500,000 young people with counseling and support services.

THE GOOD WIFE STAR Juliana Margulies will be interviewed by Martha Lavey at the Cultural Center luncheon for Steppenwolf Theater March 12 heralding Women in the Arts. Call 312-654-5632. Event chairs are Carole Brown, Nene Foxhall, Janet Melk, Elizabeth Connelly and Donna La Pietra.

PHILANTHROPIST BEVERLY BLETTNER touched so many lives through her 30 years of raising monies for myriad local charities that memorials to this amazing woman should never end. Perhaps the largest will be the April 25 service at Fourth Presbyterian Church followed by the annual fundraiser for the Stanley Paul-Raelene Mittelman Scholarship for fashion designers at the Casino. Bev will be the posthumous honoree.

GLENKIRK, HELPING PEOPLE with developmental disabilities live a full life, has an impressive list of dedicated supporters. Barbara Siegan is chair of the board, Roger Baron is vice chair and Arthur Fess is treasurer. Dr. Bruce Bennin is secretary and directors are Fred Batliner, Don Blasing, Bill Fisher, Louise Miller, Gerald Shapiro, Diane Thompson and Angelene Youngman. Committee members include Eileen Bennin, Wendy LaVarre, Marita Schwartz, Olivia Shapiro, Baila Stein, Margaret Tanenberg, Susan Del Castillo, Marianne Blasing, Leila Mattes and Leslie Neilan. Glenkirk offers a wide variety of individualized, educational, and enrichment opportunities in its community setting.

AUTHOR/WRITER BILL ZEHME has a biography of Johnny Carson out this year. He is best known for his book The Way You Wear Your Hat: Frank Sinatra and The Lost Art of Livin’ and a biography of the late comic Andy Kaufman. Zehme is a longtime writer at large for Esquire, and his celebrity profiles have appeared in Rolling Stone, Playboy and Vanity Fair.

AS YOU READ THIS, TALENTED DESIGNERS are creating fashions that will be important and head-turning. Promoting the 400 apparel and sewn products companies, assisting its members in developing professional skills, identifying opportunities for its members and developing new business is AIBI, the Apparel Industry Board Inc. It was founded in 1987 and is comprised of industry leaders and professionals whose careers and business expertise span all facets of the manufacture, sale, marketing, design and finance. To date, 75 loans of more than $865,000 have been granted.

APPAREL INDUSTRY BOARD OFFICERS include Rose Becker, president; Susan Glick and Susan McCullough, vice presidents; Karen Janko, secretary; Victor Skrebneski, president emeritus; and Dorothy Fuller, founder. Marsha Brenner is executive director, assisted by Kevin Sullivan. Directors include Gregg Andrews, Scott Carlson, Stephanie D’Ambrosio, Elda de la Rosa, Gregg Fishman, Andrew Gloyeske, Mira Horoszowski, Tina Koegel, Linda LaSala, Whitney Lasky, Lauren Lein, Dennis Minkel, Diana Muzzy, Susanna Negovan, Stanley Paul, Jenny Pfanenstiel, Anthony Rossi, David Rubin, Lauren Smith, Daryl Sneed and Dori Wilson.

MEMORIES, MEMORIES. In 1996 novelist Isabel Allende won the Public Library’s Harold Washington Award and was feted at a banquet. Honoring the author were recently resigned Library Commissioner Mary Dempsey, board president Cindy Pritzker and chair Bootsie Nathan.

WORKS BY EMERGING AND ESTABLISHED ARTISTS will be up for auction June 2 at the Society for Contemporary Art benefit at IIT’s Crown Hall. Chairs are Michelle Edwards and Patty Sternberg, with David Egeland and Scott Hunter. Proceeds will purchase art for the Modern Wing of the Art Institute.

MEN WHO PREFER THEIR WOMEN DOCILE AND SLAVELIKE should move to Malaysia. For Muslim women there’s a new group to join to “enhance your life and that of your man.” It is called The Obedient Wives Club and its aim is to teach women how to better please their husbands in the bedroom to keep them from straying. The divorce rate in that country is very high. But some women are furious, asking for an Obedient Husbands Club as well. The Wives Clubs are spreading to Jordan and Singapore.

WE NEED HOME EC IN OUR SCHOOLS. Cooking classes, how to keep a home clean, shopping for food, etc., are vital to a healthy life and a happy marriage. Medics in the Journal of the American Medical Association note that with teens obese or overweight, knowing to how to prepare tasty, low-cal dishes is important. Young people need to understand nutrition and take charge of their meals and snacks.

LOCAL AUTHOR SAM SMITH IS CREATOR of The Jordan Rules, which was in the top ten on the New York Times Bestseller List for three months. He’s also written Second Coming: The Strange Odyssey of Michael Jordan and co-authored the Total Basketball Encyclopedia. Smith received the Phil Jasner Lifetime Achievement Award from the Professional Basketball Writers Association in May 2011.

WHO IS THE BODY BEAUTIFUL who walks around her multi-million dollar condo nude, even when there is help in the apartment? Her husband thinks everything she does is adorable.

“NEVER GIVE BACK THE RING! NEVER! SWALLOW IT FIRST!” —JOAN RIVERS

CONTACT: annbgerber@gmail.com or 847-677-2232