FOR MAGGIE DALEY, MICHAEL DOUGLAS, ARETHA FRANKLIN and millions of others, please bring a cure for cancer.

FOR PRESIDENT OBAMA, make him a tougher, wily street-fighter.

ELECT RAHM EMANUEL MAYOR OF CHICAGO because he’s a tough, wily, street-fighter.

CANCEL PLANS FOR THE DANGEROUS HELIPORT atop the new Children’s Memorial Hospital on Chicago Avenue east of Michigan.

RESURRECT MEIGS FIELD, and helicopters could land there and on Navy Pier.

GIVE SINGER JUSTIN BIEBER a drug and drama free career.

INFUSE SARAH PALIN with history, English, geography and truthfulness lessons.

GIFT GEORGE W. BUSH with a brain, Dick Cheney with a heart and Donald Rumsfeld with a conscience.

STICK RUSH WINDBAG with two big corks.

SEND GLENN BECK a designer straight-jacket.

GIFT SNOOKI OF JERSEY SHORE with a training bra and a pacifier.

MELT 50 POUNDS FROM OPRAH WINFREY.

MAKE SURE PRINCE WILLIAM AND HIS KATE get their fair share of happiness, kids.

ARRANGE FOR ANGELINA AND BRAD to adopt Haiti.

SEND ALL THE KARDASHIANS TO WASILLA with a one-way ticket. Make Kate Gosselin join them.

GIVE GEORGE CLOONEY directions to my house.

TURN OFF THE SNOW, ICE, BELOW ZERO WIND CHILLS.

BRING WRIGLEY FIELD A PAINLESS RENOVATION.

THE BEARS NEED AN OFFENSE, at the least.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE with Blagojevich? Has he been given the gift of silence?

SHUT OFF WIKILEAKS. They proved their point. Enough is enough.

TURN ON THE CASH FLOW FOR LOCAL CHARITIES.

CREATE JOBS OUTSIDE YOUR HOLIDAY WORKSHOP.

TAKE CALORIES OUT OF PIZZA and cupcakes.

PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN EVERYONE’S STOCKING and enjoy your milk and cookies.

WHO IS THE PLUCKY WIFE who just sold her engagement ring and other goodies to help her husband meet the company payroll at Christmas? She’s the one working at a fast food eatery to make ends meet.

WHO IS THE BAD BOY ROMEO who preys on lonely widows, divorcees, and makes a fortune with his phony stories of sick mom, dying child, even a dog needing chemo? He makes a small fortune, but he earns it.

TWO NEW BABES ARE CHICAGO ROYALTY! Actress Ali Larter and our Hayes Mac Arthur welcomed a son and actor Vince Vaughn and wife Kyla boast a new baby girl. Proud grandpa Bruce Wirtz Mac Arthur told us “Hayes will be a better dad than I was.” And his new TV show debuted to applause.

THAT WAS FORMER CHICAGOAN Nina Terzian at the funeral of Steve Posner, playboy son of Victor Posner, killed in a boating mishap in Miami Beach.

SEEN HOLIDAY LUNCHING at the swank Elysian were lovely hostess Mary Ann Childers with Suzie Glickman, Sally Becker, Rhoda Sweeney, Gretchen Jordan, Paula Fasseas, Kathy Fox, Countess Mimi Fairview.

SUSAN GOHL’S SON PATRICK hosted a birthday bash for her in Naples, Fla. She’s been riding in Wellington and partying with husband Fred in Palm Beach.

PROMISING A FAB NEW YEAR’S EVE BLAST at the Casino are the English-Speaking Union committee led by Brian White and Mrs. Christian Pitt. Included are Steven Zick, Peggy Snorf, Deirdre Bormes, Suzanne Dunea, Sean Eshaghy, James Kinney, Col. Paul Malarik III, Lyssa Piette, Mary Niehaus to name a few.

DOES STUNNING NATASHA ISAACS have the tiniest waist in town? The tall brunette was lunching at Nomi in the Park Hyatt and she was exquisitely dressed with a waist cincher that looked as big as a bottle-cap.

WHAT’S WITH DENNIS AND EVI QUAID? THEY RAN TO CANADA, “FEARING FOR THEIR LIVES,” and relate in the current Town & Country that they think our Jeremy Piven’s bout with mercury poisoning was a murder plot. They assert that Heath Ledger’s death was no accident.

PARISIANS WERE EXCITED ABOUT THE CHICAGO PHOTOS in an exhibit hosted by Pierre Colin, CEO of Bank of America/Merrill Lynch, Europe. It was orchestrated by Renee Johnson, former Chicagoan and head of the Paris/Chicago Sister Cities program. Thousands saw the pix under the auspices of the Mona Bismarck Foundation.

SEVEN FRESH FISH COURSES star at Tocco’s Christmas Eve dinner in a southern Italian tradition.

HOME RUN INN offers a new ultra thin personal frozen pizza line with 280 to 380 calories.

COMIC DEBBY GOODMAN does a show Jan. 14 at the Heartland Cafe based on her experiences as a single in Chicago.

WHO WAS THE WIFE WHO EXPLODED when her husband asked if she would like a check for Christmas to get Botox, lipo or a facelift?

CARLO THE THREE-LEGGED PUG will be content and loved this holiday with Amy and Julian Mack who adopted the pet from PAWS. The Macks were honorary chairs at the recent Fur Ball.

WEDDING BELLS RANG for popular actor Danny Bonaduce, 51, who was a radio host here in the 90’s. His third wife is teacher Amy Railsback, 28.

YOU MAY BE COLD but interior designer John Robert Wiltgen has memories of his recent trip to Nice to keep him warm. Here is a pix from his pool party with Cheryl Hoban, Kiyoko Binosi, John Hoban, Yudiko Byers.

CHRISTMAS DAY WILL SEE IKRAM GOLDMAN, owner of Ikram boutique on the Gold Coast, and a fashion consultant to Michelle Obama, our First Lady, serving a buffet lunch to 15. With her twin boys, 2, will be other family members and friends, she told Town & Country magazine. Fashionplate Ikram will be wearing a red Lanvin Jacket and black pants …

SUGAR RAUTBORD WAS THE ONLY CHICAGOAN in T & C’s current list of 101 People You Must Meet in 2011. But the mag was a bit late in penning that Sugar lives here and in Palm Beach. She sold her parents’ oceanfront condo there for more than $3 million several years ago.

ACTRESS JOAN COLLINS HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR. WHEN SHE SHOWED HOW AGILE SHE IS AT 77 during her show at Feinstein’s in New York City, the brunette beauty did the splits, and declared, “That is what we call the British Open.”

PLATINUM BLOND SINGER DAYLE D’ANN was seen dining at Gene & Georgetti’s with astrologer Laurie Brady and birthday gal Barb Bailey.

HOME FROM KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA is Robert Mednick, near northsider, who received the top award at the World Congress of Accountants before 6,000 of his peers. In a talk called “Opportunity,” Mednick related how his father emigrated from Russia and left school in the fifth grade to help his family. Robert’s dad resolved that his children would have professions and so Mednick was the first to graduate from college. The award was for his leadership with the World Bank and other advisory work.

FOR ONLY $1,500,000 you can buy Dale Chihuly’s pool installation for someone special on your Christmas list. Neiman Marcus offers this bottom-of-the-pool art creation for a unique gift. Of course, the pool is not included.

WHAT PERSONIFIES THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT OF JOY? A beautiful, happy child, like Eleanor, daughter of Rich and Cynthia Varnes. Rich is the popular, personable manager of RL restaurant. SHE SMILES from their Christmas card.

NEW YEAR’S EVE IN THE MODERN WING at the Art Institute offers live jazz, cocktails, a five-course feast from chef Tony Mantuano. Chairs are Dirk Denison and Michelle Edwards.

WE WISH YOU PEACE OF MIND, health, loved ones around you this Christmas season. BE JOYOUS, BE SAFE.

CONTACT: annbgerber@gmail.com or 847-677-2232