KILLING AND BEING IN THE LINE OF FIRE, facing death each day and becoming an efficient murderous machine takes a deadly toll on young people in the military.

JULY HAD THE MOST Army suicides in two years with 32, and this year has tallied 163 confirmed suicides. The Air Force had 28, the Marines 21 and the Navy 33 this year to date.

MOST OF THE VICTIMS WERE ON ACTIVE DUTY but some were in the National Guard or Army Reserves. They tend to be older, not living near support systems on military bases and may feel isolated when they return to civilian life. The lack of jobs is devastating to many as their self-esteem falls, and depression and substance abuse can rise. It has been said that the unemployed feel invisible and of little value to society.

SELF-INFLICTED DEATHS HAVE INCREASED alarmingly for soldiers who were not on active duty. Unlike active-duty soldiers, reserve troops may not have strong job protection.

A 15-MONTH ARMY STUDY on suicide prevention concluded that a “permissive” environment is partially to blame. There is a need to promote and encourage healthy behavior among troops — reinforcing discipline for substance abuse, criminal behavior and disciplinary problems. Many commanders focus on getting the men ready for deployment to war zones and a firm, fair and consistent leadership is vital. High-risk behavior must be addressed. Drug overdoses accounted for many deaths.

THE DEMANDS OF SERVICE, SEPARATION FROM LOVED ONES, INJURIES and horrendous experiences can cause a sense of isolation and hopelessness.

HOW NORMAL CAN IT BE TO TAKE INNOCENT YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN and put them into the hell of war, where they fight to kill or be killed, sometimes not knowing who’s friend and who’s foe — or if today is the day you will be blown to bits? Combat takes mentally healthy soldiers and changes them forever.

STUDIES OF SOLDIERS WHO SERVED in conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan revealed that they were two to three times more likely to develop post-traumatic stress disorder than those soldiers who remained out of the battle. And the “walking wounded” troops were more likely to develop dementia when they returned to civilian life.

GOING OFF TO WAR cannot only be a death sentence, or a maiming nightmare, but the end of an innocence that mere man cannot handle.

WHAT HAVE WISE MEN SAID ABOUT WAR? “WAR WOULD END IF THE DEAD COULD RETURN,” said Stanley Baldwin.

“SOMETIME THEY WILL GIVE A WAR AND NOBODY WILL COME,” dreamt Carl Sandburg.

“IN PEACE, SONS BURY THEIR FATHERS. IN WAR, FATHERS BURY THEIR SONS,” declared Herodotus.

BUT WALTER MONDALE SAID IT BEST. “THERE WILL BE NO VETERANS OF WORLD WAR III.”

WHO IS THE TROPHY WIFE, 23, who found a diamond and sapphire ring atop her oatmeal and blueberries on the morning of her birthday?

WHO IS THE DRUNKEN BUM who ruined the dinner of restaurant guests in the Viagra Triangle when he poured booze over their dishes as they sat outside?

REALTOR MAGGIE DEMPSEY and other Gold Coasters are coping with the memory of seeing a young Asian trader jump to his death from the 32nd floor of the 900 N. Michigan building on Aug. 23. And they were aghast at the insensitivity of a father of two teenage boys who let them photograph the body before police arrived.

HEY! STARS ARE JUST LIKE US. Their feelings get hurt, they moan and complain about bad press or unflattering gossip. Sarah Jessica Parker, famous for her Sex and the City role sobbed to Marie Claire that she cares deeply about what is written in the tabs about her. Starring in the new movie, I Don’t Know How She Does It, Sarah insisted, “I never wanted to be a celebrity; I never wanted to be famous … and I don’t trade on it. … I wait in line, I do take the subway, I do my own grocery shopping, I take the kids to school.” An item claiming she complained about being called for jury duty upset her. Sarah said it was completely untrue and distressed her. Last year she and Angelina Jolie were the highest paid actresses in America, each getting about $30 million. Since Parker grew up poor, one of eight kids in Ohio, New Jersey and New York, she admits she loves the perks but is trying hard to instill in her three kids sensible values and a strong work ethic.

SECOND CITY VETERAN JEFF GARLIN admits he’s a Cub fan; after all he’s a native, and he’s currently reading Sandy Koufax: A Lefty’s Legacy by Jane Leavy. Garlin says it’s based on a perfect game Koufax pitched against the Cubs in Dodger Stadium. The plump comic also told the New York Post that he read Born Standing Up by Steve Martin and it was the best book ever written about being a stand-up comedian. What does the cast do when there is spare time on the set of TV series Curb Your Enthusiasm? Everybody reads books, reports Jeff.

STAGE, SCREEN AND TV STAR JOHN O’HURLEY will be honored with the Sarah Siddons Society’s Actor of the Year Award at a Ritz dinner Oct. 10 and E. Faye Butler will be named Chicago’s Leading Lady at this gala black tie benefit. The Stanley Paul Orchestra will play and musical theater students from Northwestern U. will perform. O’Hurley’s role as Peterman on Seinfeld made him a household name and Siddons events always memorable. Susan Glick is president of the Society. Tickets are $350. Call 312-664-3452 for more information.

WHAT HAS 2,000 LEGS, AN APPETITE FOR GREAT FOOD AND MYSTERY and was last seen devouring tasty tidbits near the Picasso statue? It was the 1,000 gourmands who savored Diner en Blanc orchestrated by Jennifer Dunham Luby of Second City Soiree. This “White Dinner,” called a refined foodie flash mob, saw participants, all wearing white, bringing their own white chairs, tables, cloths, silverware and food to Daley Plaza on Aug. 27. Some brought simple store-bought meals, other constructed elaborate tables with creative centerpieces, menu cards, multiple courses. This Diner en Blanc began as a small gathering 20 years ago in Paris and has since blossomed into a worldwide phenomenon. Co-founders Kelly McCoy Williams, Nicole Lockett and James Borkman called this initial dinner a rousing success. Attendees met at points throughout the city and at 7 p.m. learned the secret location for the mega-banquet. A strolling accordionist lent a Parisian feel to the night while some guests indulged in the local tradition of sliding down the friendly Picasso. Partygoers danced to the sounds of a jazz trio and no indigestion was reported. The mood was elegant, yet whimsical, Luby reported. Interest is high for the next Diner en Blanc.

SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to: Beyonce Knowles, Hugh Grant, Raquel Welch, Damon Wayans, Jeff Foxworthy, Pink, David Arquette, Adam Sandler, Colin Firth and Michelle Williams … LABOR LEADER BILL HOGAN is still smiling after his surprise 70th birthday party attended by pals including Jim Belushi.

ALBERTO CULVER FOUNDER Leonard Lavin is having a good year with his racehorses in California.

WEDDING BELLS RANG for the beautiful Renee Fleming, opera soprano and Lyric consultant, and Washington, D.C. lawyer Timothy Jessell. Fleming has two teenage daughters from her marriage to actor Rick Ross.

MICHAEL LERICH AND HIS ORCHESTRA played for the 30 Serendipity talents at Millennium Park in a free concert Sept. 8.

GRETCHEN ROSSI of the Real Housewives of Orange County on Bravo met fans at The Magnificent Mile Shopping Festival presented by Water Tower Place. LuAnn de Lesseps of Real Housewives of New York, “The Countess,” chatted about her book and signed copies at the Fashion Lounge of Water Tower Place while wearing a hot red dress by designer Muse.

WHO IS THE BUNNY who accidentally kills a top mobster in the upcoming TV Playboy Club series? Shhhh! It is hot actress Amber Heard who looks rabidly rabbit in her bunny ears and tail.

NEW COMFORT ME BOUTIQUE, with clothing and home furnishings, at 651 W. Armitage Ave., will party Sept. 22 and part of proceeds go to Bright Pink, a breast cancer charity, reports owner Alyssa Thomas.

PIRATES AND PRINCESSES authors Jill Kargman and daughter Sadie will meet guests from 2 to 4 p.m. Sept. 17 on level 5 at the 900 N. Michigan Ave. shops. Little girls can attend in their fave party dresses and wee pirates are welcome too. The children’s novel explores friendships and sales will support the neonatal intensive care unit at Rush U. Medical Center.

WHO IS CHICAGO, honoring 10 philanthropic VIPs, is Sept. 30 from 7 p.m. at the Dana Hotel and spa. Call 312-890-3028 for tickets.

THE GREEN TIE BALL, one of our town’s most successful benefits, marks its 25th year Sept. 17 with a tented blast at A. Finkl & Sons, 2011 N. Southport Ave. It has come a long way since 1986, when Don DePorter founded the beautifying effort, and this gala will honor influential sponsors. Fifty top chefs will cook and food trucks will also offer dishes. Co-chairs are Timothy Smithe of the furniture Smithes, and Stephanie Castagnier of NBC’s The Apprentice. After-party fun is at the Underground.

LARRY KING MET THE IMMEDIATE WORLD when Sugar Rautbord hosted a reception and book signing for the famous TV star and author. His new book, Truth Be Told, reveals the healing after the very public breakup of his marriage, as well as funny and poignant stories from his years interviewing the rich and famous and the poor and hopeful. He is pictured with insurance exec Debra Hoag and longtime pal Sugar.

BIG BUZZ FOR THE OPENING of Ian Schrager’s new Public Chicago hotel and its rebirthed Pump Room — nothing like the old memory haven. Ian has a vision of classy and understated but fabulous rooms and services. What a shot in the arm for the old Ambassador East.

A MAJOR EVENT, WITH 1,500 GUESTS, is the Sept. 15 Gold Coast Fashion Show luncheon at the Hilton to benefit Children’s Memorial Hospital.

CONGRATS TO CHRIS KENNEDY, LES CONEY AND LORI HEALEY honored for their leadership by the 100 Club and the Apparel Industry Board at a Four Seasons dinner. Co-chairs were Joe Ahern, Robin Robinson and Vonita Reescer.

ARTIST ED WENTZ and his watercolors are featured in the Palette & Chisel opening reception Sept. 23 from 6 to 9 p.m. at 1012 N. Dearborn St.

BLUEPRINTS, the 6th SOAR gala is Sept. 27 at the Drake honoring architect Lawrence Booth … WINSTON CHURCHILL will be the subject for a speech by Robert Dickson, British Consul General, at an English-Speaking Union luncheon Sept. 29 at the Casino … “RED” OPENS THE GOODMAN THEATRE SEASON Sept. 27 after a dinner in the modern wing of the Art Institute.

“MOST PEOPLE THINK LIFE SUCKS, AND THEN YOU DIE … I think life sucks, then you get cancer, your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, get remarried, owe $10 million in medical bills, work hard for 35 years and pay it back and then one day you have a massive stroke … go into rehab … regain your powers … and then one day you step off a curb, get hit by a city bus and then you die, maybe.” —DENIS LEARY

CONTACT: annbgerber@gmail.com or 847-677-2232