Tie the knot to save your sanity

09/02/2009 10:00 PM

By ANN GERBER

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YES, MILLIONS OF MEN INSIST their wives are driving them crazy, and an equal number of screaming women are tearing out their hair and demanding a divorce because their mates are unbearable. But hey, research proves that marriage can keep you sane.

WHO ARE YOU GOING TO BELIEVE? Your headaches or the respected British Medical Journal? Its researchers studied 1,400 Finnish and found that those married were better able to ward off age-related problems, such as Alzheimer’s disease. Widowed and divorced men and women at midlife had a much higher rate of dementia.

SHARING MIDLIFE AND LATER YEARS WITH A PARTNER keeps mates on their toes, busy coping with daily physical, mental and social interaction. It keeps the mind sharper and more stimulated than being alone does.

WE’VE HEARD THAT OLD JOKE that when you are married it just seems like you live longer, but trust the Brits, marriage is good for your mental health. Couples tend to eat more healthful meals, keep up social contacts and walk more.

THE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT that comes with knowing you have a partner, and that you are not all alone in this often cruel, cold world, helps lessen stress. The positives for marriage can out-weigh the negatives.

WHO MAKE THE BEST HUSBANDS? Oxford University researchers allege that males from Norway and Sweden are easiest to live with and make the best partners, followed by men in Great Britain, our United States, Northern Ireland, the Netherlands, Ireland, Spain, New Zealand, Japan, Germany, Austria and — dead last — those lazy, uncooperative Australians.

DON’T TAKE OUR WORD FOR IT. The study will be published in the Journal of Population Economics. You aren’t married yet? Get a move on it, especially if you are near middle-aged. You can’t risk losing your mind without a few years of world class aggravation or maybe, a great love.

Gossip, gossip, gossip

WHO IS THE STUNNING BRUNETTE sporting a black eye because her older lover caught her texting her old boyfriend?

WHO IS THE RESPECTED JUDGE whose roommate at Bryn Mawr College was convicted of hiring her son to kill her father?

MURDER MOST FOUL: The ultimate insult, the unkindest cut, for murdered model Jasmine Fiore was that she was identified through the number on her breast implants. Ex-husband Ryan Jenkins hung himself in Canada after killing Jasmine, and cutting out her teeth and slicing off her fingers so she couldn’t be identified. Little did he know that her implants were numbered. You didn’t know either! Jenkins had appeared on the TV reality show Megan Wants a Millionaire as a wealthy bachelor investor seeking to win the hand of Megan Hauserman, a University of Illinois at Chicago graduate. Now there’s a better plot for a TV murder mystery.

HE’S GOT THE GOODS, insist the millions of fans of our Jeremy Piven of Entourage, and they love him in his new flick about car salesmen, The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard. Playing a scuzzy auto liquidator is easy for multi-talented Piven, who excels as a sleaze-bag. Also in the movie is Chicagoan Jonathan Sadowski, 29, who is a likeable jerk.

CELEBRATING HER BIRTHDAY WITH PALS at a luncheon in Café des Architectes at the Sofitel Chicago Water Tower was stunning Circuit Court Judge Ilana Rovner.

QUENTIN TARANTINO’S Inglourious Basterds has been cleaning up at the box office as Brad Pitt & Crew rid the world of all those damn Nazi bastards to audience cheers. At the recent Chicago International Film Festival special tribute to Quentin, founder-director Mike Kutza presented the director with a Career Achievement Award. A screening of the film was held and the local moviegoers were enthusiastic. It was Springtime for Hitler with a more satisfying ending.

HANDSOME MALE MODELS IN NAUGHT BUT THEIR BRIEFS were the showstoppers at Glamorama’s fashion/music festival at the Chicago Theatre with an after-party at sponsor Macy’s. “These guys all had six-pack abs and were sprayed with soapy water, “ guest Miranda Taylor reported. “It was heaven. Clothes were sparkly, with lots of fur and leather ... black was big ... singer Ne-Yo and his beautiful protégé Jadyn Maria were spectacular ... Miss Piggy roared in on a motorcycle (hog on a hog), and this benefit rocked.”

RICH MELMAN, genius of Lettuce Entertain You, was in Santa Monica for the opening of his latest eatery, La Grande Orange, offering the healthful dishes that Californians crave. Jerry Berliant made the scene and said the new place is a winner, but we knew that.

CONGRATS TO CHICAGO CONCIERGE CHAPTER which won six major awards at the annual conference in Dallas. Polly Pancoe and these dynamic leaders are energized and ready to win more at the Washington, D.C. meet next year.

“RED HOT & RICH” about the music and life of Cole Porter, created by Stanley Paul, is an exciting cabaret evening the Sarah Siddons Society is sponsoring Sept. 17 at the Casino in a cocktails and supper event. Stanley will take us back to the glamorous lifestyle of Cole and Linda Porter in Paris, Venice, Broadway and Hollywood. Siddons co-chairwomen are Donna Atwater and Mary Lou Bilder-Gold.

ONE OF OUR FAVE LOCAL ACTRESSES, the beautiful Catherine O’Hara, is the voice of the wife of Glenn Martin, DDS., in the new Nick at Nite TV series. Kevin Nealon is the title character, and the plot has the family in an RV as this mobile dentist and family travel cross-country. It is an animated adventure with kids and a dog.

RICK BAYLESS RULES! Congrats to the popular chef of Frontera Grill and Topolobampo who won the Top Chef Masters competition. He’s donating his $100,000 prize to the Frontera Farmer Foundation to help local farmers.

TANMAN GEORGE HAMILTON is basking in the spotlight as the movie My One and Only reveals his early life with a beautiful mother and ugly situations. Based on two memoirs by actor and executive producer George, the film stars Renée Zellweger as his troubled mom. His dysfunctional family makes for a touching story. In real life, George’s late mother, Ann Stevens, spent her later years living in Palm Beach and he was beloved by Imelda Marcos, wife of the Philippines dictator, who is rumored to have gifted George with impressive bounty. Just a few months ago, Hamilton came to Chicago to have Dr. Richard Berger of Rush University Hospital replace his knee. His labors on Dancing with the Stars are blamed for the injury.

PLAYING THE YOUNG GEORGE HAMILTON is Logan Lerman and Mark Rendall has the role of his effeminate half-brother Robbie. Kevin Bacon plays the cheating husband who forces his flighty wife to pack up her two boys and set out to find another husband. George Hamilton started his film career at 13 in a Clark Gable Western, and went on to play Hank Williams, Evel Knievel and Dracula, supporting his fading mom and interior designer brother. He wed Alana Stewart (best pal of Farah Fawcett), and romanced a slew of other beauties. There’s enough plot for at least three other Hamilton films.

GRANT PARK’S MUSIC FESTIVAL MASKED BALL saw 300 supporters thrilled with the Venetian Night concert and the gala that followed in the new modern wing of the Art Institute. Among supporters were Olga Markoff, Heather Johnston, Sara Albrecht, Scott Bobeck, Leslie Burns, Amy Leonard, Peggy Martay, Lynda Silverman, Kim Gleeson and Dr. Steve Stryker, Jonathon Wells, Nicci Toma, John Araujo, Lois Weisberg and the Brad Seilers.

THE GODS SMILED on erudite, super hostess Averill Leviton who had planned an outdoor patio party on the night of a mean-spirited summer storm. Exactly at 8:30 p.m. the rain stopped, a cool breeze enticed her guests to dine at her flower-bedecked backyard and they were rewarded with delicious dishes from the popular restaurant Prosecco on North Wells. Their personable, capable staff served and the evening was a smashing success.

AT AN INTIMATE LITTLE BARBEQUE, 150 friends of elegant Joan Holland cheered her at a big birthday bash.

BLONDES DID NOT HAVE MORE FUN at Donald Trump’s Miss Universe contest. The five finalists were all ravishingly beautiful brunettes, who left the few fair-haired (or bleached) hopefuls in the dust. Miss Venezuela was the winner and Miss Dominican Republican was runner-up. They were drop-dead, movie-star gorgeous.

WE MOURN THE DEATH OF SEN. TED KENNEDY, who tasted the wines of celebrity, great family fortune and tragedy, personal pain that would have killed a lesser man. And he worked for the greater good of those less fortunate. May he finally find peace.

DEPRESSED? FEELING LOST AND ALONE? Hang in there. Don’t give up. The anonymous optimist reminds you that Moses was once a basket case.


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