IT IS EASY TO VIEW PORN on the Internet, and much of it is violent, debasing to women, and gives young men a dangerous role model for their future sex lives.

CHOKING, SEXUAL CRUELTY AND BRUTALITY are the norm to build erotic excitement and it leaves impressionable males with the idea that sex is not about tenderness, making love, caring and connection. Porn on the Internet is often punishment to women — with maximum degradation.

WHEN COLLEGE AND HIGH SCHOOL AGED men have sex, they expect their young women to act like the whores they have seen, loving the violent sex. And most are surprised to realize they cannot imitate the control, emotionally and physically, they think is normal because they’ve watched pros and doctored sex scenes.

THE DIRTY JOKE IS ON THEM and their partners. Real sex with real women seems bland and dull without the screaming orgasms and sexual gymnastics.

PORNLAND: HOW PORN HAS HIJACKED OUR SEXUALITY, a new Beacon Press book by Gail Dines, maintains that we ignore violent porn at our peril.

WE ARE FOSTERING A GENERATION that thrives on violent porn, until the real thing comes along. For them there are no thrills, or satisfaction, without the bells and whistles and Viagra-fueled action.

UNTIL IT IS NOT SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE for there to be easy access to violent porn, relationships and future marriages are all at risk. Kids are watching and learning in a warped atmosphere because so many parents just will not face “that talk” about sex. They are content to let the Internet ruin the future sex lives of their children.

FANS OF ACTOR BRUCE WILLIS can meet him from 6 to 9 p.m. Aug. 11 at Binny’s Beverage Depot, 1720 N. Marcey St., at a benefit for Retinal Research. The $40 admission includes Bruce’s favorite vodka, Sobieski, and appetizers. ... RON HOWARD AND HIS WIFE savored brunch Sunday at Bistro Zinc.

WHO IS THE WEALTHY HUSBAND in the dog house because he planned a lavish 40th surprise birthday party for his loving wife? She was surprised, and furious, because she tells everyone she’s 35, didn’t have her hair done, was wearing an old dress and saw some “friends” there she hated.

WHO IS THE BLOND, SEXY LAWYER who conned several Chicagoans who paid her major fees and received no services? We hear she’s now in California and has victimized some middle-aged clients.

IN A POIGNANT STORY about Michael Cook and former Congressman Dan Rostenkowski in the current issue of Chicago Magazine, Bryan Smith reveals that Dan, one of the best congressmen ever, has lung cancer. Rosty is a fighter and we wish him a miracle or two.

WE HEAR THAT MIKE BELL’S MAGNIFICENT Plum Farm in Lakeside, Mich., a 30-acre paradise with a pool and guest house, has been sold to a lucky couple.

CONDOLENCES TO MAESTRO Stanley Paul on the demise of his darling cat, Gracie, 17. (She always lied about her age.)

A RESTAURANT IN THE OLD ALBANY PARK POLICE STATION, 4461 N. Pulaski Rd., is the hope of owner/chef Arun Sampanthavivat, whose popular restaurant Arun’s is at 4156 N. Kedzie Ave.

IT’S SAD TO READ ABOUT THE O’BRIEN CLAN’S LEGAL WOES, with the family against Peter. Their O’Brien’s restaurant on Wells Street is just one asset. They own nursing homes and real estate. Patriarch Daniel, with Margaret, Maureen and Daniel O’Brien III, are suing Peter over mismanagement of the firm’s millions.

TO PREVENT GUN VIOLENCE THE BRADY CAMPAIGN is asking Chicagoans to write Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz and get him to say guns are not welcome there. Don’t bring your semi-automatic when you want a latte. The gun lobby’s “any gun, any time, anywhere campaign” is frightening.

PARTY UPDATE: WALTER KAISER, with wife Irena, celebrated birthdays at the Chicago Yacht Club. ... THE RECENT PORN STARS expo at the Rosemont was a bit of a bust. There were some topless babes walking around but the crowds were thin and amateurs paying to make their own flicks were in short supply. ... THE ANNUAL WHITE PARTY at Galleria Marchetti, needed air conditioning. The hot time was fueled by about 300 of the usual suspects. ... TWO HUNDRED OR SO of our town’s fashionistas turned out for Kathy Brown’s annual blast in her Lincolnwood Towers estate. They partied and danced until midnight.

THE ANNUAL BASH FOR RICHARD DRIEHAUS saw hundreds at his Lake Geneva mansion and grounds, in a more romantic mood because the investment guru reigned with his new Latvian bride, the lovely brunette Inese Romanovska.

DISGRACED EX-CEO of the Sun-Times Conrad Black may be out on bail, but Reuters reports he owes the Internal Revenue Service about $70 million.

A CAROLINA DIRT RUB for ribs and more is a boast of the exciting new barbecue haven Lillie’s Q at 1856 W. North Ave., operated by owner/chef Charlie McKenna from Tru and Avenues.

ONE-THOUSAND DOLLAR GIFT CERTIFICATES to the Bochic jewelry line at Ikram, 873 N. Rush St., were in the goody bags from the zoo ball. The gems, bracelets, rings and earrings sell from $4,000. This is one big temptation.

FRIENDS AND COLLECTORS of artist Tom Parish’s paintings came in from all over the country for his opening night exhibit at Gruen Galleries. Parish is a local talent who has 15 large-scale oil paintings of Venice in his current show.

GIULIANA AND BILL RANCIC helped owners Candace and Charles Nelson open their new Sprinkles Cupcakes shop at 50 E. Walton St. Cupcakes are all the sweet-tooth rage.

GORGEOUS BOBBI PANTER, owner and creator of the pet products line, and Gov. Pat Quinn and Phillip Emigh of pet boutique Tails in the City, at the PAWS beach party at North Ave. Phillip paid $5,000 to attend a Dancing With the Stars taping.

VINTAGE WEDDING GOWNS are stealing fashionistas’ attention at Laurie Davis’ popular LuLu’s at the Belle Kay salon, 3862 N. Lincoln Ave. (And where did she get those fabulous Bob Mackie creations?)

THE HIGH-VOLTAGE LATIN MOVIE STARS have never been equaled. Photographer/researcher Steve Starr has a red-hot book coming out 10/10/10, titled Starrlight: Glamorous Latin Movie Stars of Early Hollywood, with 100 alluring photos and details of the lives of Rita Hayworth, Dolores Del Rio, Lupe Velez, Carmen Miranda and Maria Montez. Starr reveals the mystery and heartbreak, the silver screen fame and fortune of these exceptional, exciting femmes. The book, $30, covered in silver linen, is almost as beautiful as the women it contains.

BLOODY TASTY: That’s the recipes in Gina Meyers’ new cookbook, Love at First Bite: The Unofficial Twilight Cookbook, with vampire-tested dishes you can sink your teeth into.

THE SILVER ANNIVERSARY for the Lynn Sage Cancer Research Foundation saw it hosting a golf outing at the Glen View Club with 100 guests raising $130,000. It was a full day with luncheon, dinner and auctions with Dr. Steven Rosen and Nora Spak as chairmen. Attendees included: Terri Lind, Charlene Lieber, Lili Ann Zisook, Craig Rheingruber, Barry Lind, Robert Abt, Michael Perlen, Karen Lee, Trudy Schwartz, Diane Winner, Richard and Ryan Goldstein, David Israel, Dr. Fred Cahan, Jessica and Gregory Coleman, Susan and Doug Warshauer, Orchestra Leader Michael Lerich, Sonny Fox, Louis Levinson, and Terry Newman.

OUR CONDOLENCES to Janet Thau on the death of her mother, 100, in Washington, D.C.

PRENTICE PALOOZA was a black-tie romp for 700 to benefit Friends of Prentice for the women’s hospital at Northwestern Memorial Hospital. An impressive $850,000 was raised. Co-chairmen were Carol Bernick, Patty Henderson, Erica Goldman, Christopher Newton, Joanne Kirk and Stanley Pillman. Friends president is Trina McCallister. IN THE CROWD WERE: Amy and Cam Geer, Kim and Jay Dietz, Karen Gray, Janet and Dr. Michael Ruchim, Lee and Sharon Oberlander, Dr. Larry and Michele Jameson, Jordan and Barrie Scher, Mark and Val Haller, Beth and Kevin Bethke, Jay Levine and Mary Ann Childers, and Abra Prentice Wilkin.

CHICAGOANS IN ASPEN who attended the Aspen Institute’s Afternoon of Conversation are still raving about the sessions that featured Bill Gates, Eric Holder, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Nicholas Kristof, Roland Fryer Jr. and Melody Barnes.

“LIFE IS A MODERATELY GOOD PLAY with a badly written third act.” — Truman Capote