WOMEN BECOME ALCOHOLICS FASTER THAN MEN because females initially metabolize only about a quarter as much alcohol in the stomach and intestines as men do. Consequently more alcohol enters the bloodstream as ethanol. Women’s generally lower body mass, and lower body water content, also act to intensify alcohol’s efforts.

THE DISEASE OF ALCOHOL DEPENDENCE proceeds at a faster course in women, requiring medical treatment four years sooner, on average, than for male problem drinkers.

“GENDERED BENDER” is the title of the article on Women and Alcohol in the current issue of the Harvard Magazine, with scientist Shelly Greenfield. Greenfield joined the Harvard Medical School faculty in 1992 and is co-author of Women & Addiction, which pioneered more effective treatments.

ALCOHOL-ADDICTED WOMEN, she reveals, have a greater risk of dying in alcohol-related accidents than men do. And females are more prone to develop cirrhosis of the liver and cognitive impairment.

YOUNG GIRLS USED TO WAIT MUCH LONGER THAN BOYS TO TAKE THEIR FIRST DRINK, but since the 1990s that gap has disappeared. Social norms have made a drink with dinner acceptable, even desirable and fashionable. The male-female gap has narrowed as well for other substances. Greenfield has developed treatments that are more effective for females — notably, all-female groups have a higher rate of improvement than mixed-gender group results.

WOMEN WITH A LACK OF FAITH IN THEIR OWN ABILITY to stay clean did best in the all-female treatment group, faring even better than women with greater self-confidence in the mixed group. Greenfield noted that from day one, people shared personal information very quickly — there seemed to be a bond of understanding.

EVERY DAY WE LEARN HORROR STORIES of teens and young adults dying in car crashes caused by drinking with friends, at parties and on dates. And statistics show that girls and women are killing themselves in numbers almost equal to male victims. Now we know that a glass or two for a female can be equal to four for a man and cause mental impairment at a much faster rate.

THERE IS NOTHING AS UGLY as a drunken woman, unless it is the friends who let her get that way with no concern for her safety.

FIRST YOU TAKE A DRINK, THEN THE DRINK TAKES A DRINK, then the drink takes you, said F. Scott Fitzgerald.

ALCOHOLISM, IT HAS BEEN SAID, is responsible for:

WHEN A WOMAN BECOMES AN ALCOHOLIC, it has been estimated that her husband leaves her in nine out of 10 cases.

WHEN A MAN BECOMES AN ALCOHOLIC, his wife leaves him in one out of 10 cases.

LIFE ISN’T FAIR AND THE BOTTLE KNOWS NO MASTER.

WHO IS THE HANDSOME MEDIC, with a wife and three kids stashed in Florida, who tells vulnerable women he’s divorced and looking for Miss Right? He’s the savvy dater who sends flowers, pens romantic notes and boasts an impressive list of conquests.

WHO IS THE SON FROM HELL who has broken his father’s heart as well as squandered his fortune? The son, a high-flyer who loves pretty women, forged his dad’s name on mortgages and lines of credit, going through millions and ruining his father’s profitable business.

AN INSTANT SUCCESS is Bistronomic, the new restaurant at 840 N. Wabash Ave. where genius chef Martial Noguier charms diners with unique dishes like oxtail ravioli. Martial was last at the Sofitel Hotel’s dining room and has a devoted clientele.

ON A SEVERE DIET FOR THE PAST SIX MONTHS, a man was dining at a friend’s home and found an amazingly delicious dish he devoured. “Gosh, I just loved it. What was I eating?” he asked his hostess. “You ate all the butter!” she answered.

POOR LITTLE DANNIELYNN BIRKHEAD, 4, daughter of the late Anna Nicole Smith, won’t be getting millions from Big Daddy billionaire J. Howard Marshall’s estate, the Supreme Court ruled. Anna married the oil tycoon in 1994, when she was 26 and he was 89, and he died a year later. This is another case of “get it in writing.” Anna was not in Marshall’s will and she said he had promised her $400 million.

SO LISTEN UP, GIRLS. If you finally do capture the heart of a rich, rich man, and get him to the altar or not, get it in writing that your hero wants to be sure you are taken care of if he should die first (or kick you out, or dump you for someone younger). Get it in writing.

WARM HEARTED PHOTOGRAPHER JENNIFER GIRARD is on a mission. Every few weeks she spends four days in Haiti helping that unfortunate country start life anew. She brings them water pumps, seeds, and the chance to start food gardens and even farms. “They are a happy people,” she relates. “So grateful for any help.”

PULITZER PRIZE WINNER and former Trib editor Ann Marie Lipinski is succeeding retiring Bob Giles as curator of the Nieman Foundation for Journalism at Harvard.

FILMMAKERS JOHN WATERS AND ROBERT ELDER presented The Wizard of Oz and signed their books after a Q & A at the Music Box Theater with hundreds of fans. Waters is also an actor, stand up comedian, visual artist.

OPRAH’S HAIR STYLIST FOR THE PAST 25 YEARS, Andre Walker, was actress Halle Berry’s mane-cutter for 15 years before joining Winfrey’s staff. The current Elle magazine lauds Walker and his unique products that keep Oprah’s hair looking glam and camera-ready. He has won seven daytime Emmys for Outstanding Achievement in Hairstyling. It was Walker who cut Halle’s unmanageable long hair and gave her the newer, more chic short version.

ACTOR/COMIC GEORGE LOPEZ was in town for the riotous “Just for Laughs” comedy festival and threw out the first pitch for the Cubs game June 17 in Wrigley Field. (Keep your day job, George.)

FREDERICK NIEMI, honorary consul of Finland from 1974 to 2008, will be awarded the Medal of Honor, Commander of Order of Lion, on July 13 at ceremonies in Chicago.

A SHOE SHINE BOOTH is one of the attractions at the new Brunch, 644 N. Orleans St., where chef Daniel Tibbetts, manager Michelle Corna and director of operations Ryan Marks bring you an attractive morning destination.

SINGER GRETA POPE will warble every Friday in July at Benny’s Chop House.

FIFTH ANNUAL SIDEWALK SALE of clothes, accessories, from 40 local designers, will be July 19 and 20 at Daley Plaza, 50 W. Washington St. A runway show will be held each day at noon. Among designers showing are: Sandra Adams, Sharon Boucher, Sherri Bourdage, Rachel Brooks, Tiffany Bullock, Brynn Capella, Jessica Constable, Brooke Costello, Kate Coxworth, Leah Fagan, Julia Failey, Aaron Firestein and Raaja Nemani, Anna Hovet, Katie Johansson, Marco Lopez, Agnes Miles, Andrew Rueve, Michelle Tan and Helen Tsatos.

ELIZABETH TAYLOR’S HOME in Bel-Air is on the market for $8,600,000.

JOEL MORALES IS PRESIDENT of Allsaints Spitalfields, opening its trendy clothing salon at 700 N. Michigan.

THE PUMP ROOM WILL LIVE ON at the refurbished Ambassador East Hotel, renamed the Public Chicago by hotel tycoon Ian Schrager. Chef will be Bradford Phillips and famed chef Jean-Georges Vongericthen will be on tap as well. The new hotel will preview Sept. 12 and open Oct. 11. … WHERE ARE THE SEVERAL HUNDRED irreplaceable show biz pix of every important movie star that lined the walls of the old Pump Room and the corridors leading to it? Least important is my photo with Clark Gable but I’d like it back, rather than see it in the dumpster. The pix could make an awesome video record to the stellar starshine traffic that primed the Pump.

GET THE TUMS … A hot dog eating contest, Dawgs for Dogs, July 13 at the Franklin Tap will benefit the Chicago Canine Rescue Foundation. It will be hosted by Tim Dowling, chef at the Tap, who has two rescued pets.

IMERMAN ANGELS HAS ARRANGED 4,500 ONE-ON-ONE CANCER CONNECTIONS, with survivors teamed with patients, in its 5 years. July 22 is its benefit at the Columbia Yacht Club.

A POOP DECK, AND A PUP DECK will be available at the Castaways at the North Avenue Beach Boathouse on July 14 when PAWS holds its annual party for pet owners and their furry pals, rain or shine. $50 for dogs and $150 for people. Co-chairs are Nancy and Ron Officer and Dawn and Jim O’Neal.

ACTRESS MOLLY RINGWALD will always be known for 16 Candles and coming of age. But she was in town recently to hype her book, Getting the Pretty Back, now in paperback, with advice for young girls and their moms and their friends.

SPARKING A BENEFIT AUCTION for the Chicago Symphony at the Casino, members of the CSO League and Governing Board included Joey Molenda, Barbara Oppenheim and Christy Howell.

A TRUE LOVE STORY is that of Joseph and Lou Anne Kellman and it will be celebrated July 12 at Carnivale, to mark the 50th golden year of the Better Boys Foundation. Joe Kellman loved his pretty wife and he loved people and birthed BBF because he wanted to give back and help underprivileged youth. Joe loved boxing and created an after-school program for boys that grew to become child welfare services, scholarships, career counseling etc. Lou Anne, a former public defender, added her expertise to BBF, which the Kellman family financed into a state-of-the-art facility to house operations and perpetuate Joe’s commitment to providing equal opportunity for all with education as key to success. Joe died on his 90th birthday in 2010 but his zeal and dreams live on.

THE ASCOT BALL FOR THE ENGLISH-SPEAKING UNION was an elegant Casino black tie that attracted gilt-edged fashionistas. Standouts at the memorable affair were chairs Robert Gienko Jr. and Jennifer Swift; James Kinney, Brian White, Mamie Walton, Lisa and Duane Gengler, Susan Gohl, Kurt and Sylvia Muller, Lynn Graham, Michael Rambert, Kim Gleeson, Cheri Lawrence, Dottie Pattishall, Lyssa Piette, Stacey and Kelsey Burr, John Regas, Nancy Kelley, Sean Eshaghy, Scott Bobeck, Doe Thornburg, Paula and Jim Kiefer, Kathleen and Nick Amatangelo, Peter Martino, the Gary Mitchells, Erinn Mitchell, Janet and Roger Owen, Leslie and Robert Zentner, Lori Lennon and Don Lynch, Nick Blain, Brendan Bryant, Roble and Erin Moor, Peggy Snorf, Sally Morris, David Derks, Courtney and Chris Pitt, Cookie Cohen, Stuart Feinberg and Andrea DeLeo.

“I BELIEVE DEMOCRACY IS OUR GREATEST EXPORT. At least until China figures out a way to stamp it out of plastic for three cents a unit.” —STEPHEN COLBERT

CONTACT: annbgerber@gmail.com or 847-677-2232