Being skinny beats sex for most women

04/13/2011 10:00 PM

ANN GERBER

No Comments - Add Your Comment

WOULD WOMEN RATHER BE SKINNY or have great sex?

SKINNY WON OUT with femmes, swearing they would give up sex for a year if it meant they’d be thin, according to Fitness Magazine.

ABOUT 2,400 FEMALES ADMITTED SVELTE WAS THEIR DREAM GOAL in the survey, with 51 percent praying for thinner bodies but 49 percent arguing they’d rather have great sex and be 30 pounds overweight.

SUPERMODEL BODIES have caused envious girls and women to try any number of sound and wacky diets — from Weight Watchers to juice cleanses, from cabbage soup to enriched cookie diets. Many admitted they skipped meals, crash dieted and savored “chewing and spitting.” They said they’d never give up their firm-thighed, tiny-waisted dreams.

EVERYONE NEEDS A DIETICIAN, A GOAL and the stamina to stay with healthful eating. But that’s utopia, and this is the land of the over-fed, the obese, the weak-kneed hungry who will not give up fast food burgers, candy, cupcakes, chocolate, ice cream, french fries, hot dogs — you know the menu.

WHAT WOMAN HAS NOT SAID THIS PRAYER: “Grant me a big fat bank account and a slim body. Please don’t mix up the two like you did last time.”

Gossip, gossip, gossip

WHO ARE THE MARRIED DOCTORS who chased, grabbed and tried to date the pretty nurses, especially one? She turned them down, but they scored with many others at this North Shore hospital. If their wives only knew of their rampant prescription of cheating.

WHO IS THE CRUSHED LAWYER who brought his lover into his magnificent suburban mansion so they could live happily ever after? On a recent Tuesday when he was busy at his office, his lover had a truck and movers take out antiques, art and furniture — but left the dog and the Mercedes.

WHO WAS THAT DAZZLING BLOND seen at Victoria’s Secret? It was Lindsay Ellingson showing off the charms of the new $45 push-up bra and driving all the men crazy.

CAROLINE KENNEDY is in town to hype her new book of inspiring poems, titled She Walks in Beauty: A Woman’s Journey Through Poems. On Wednesday, April 20, the respected daughter of JFK and Jackie will be interviewed by Chicago Tribune literary editor Elizabeth Taylor at a luncheon sponsored by JPMorgan Chase in its 21 South Clark Street dining rooms. Her choices touch on love, marriage, motherhood — all those good things.

GIBSON’S SPECIAL WINE FEASTS ARE ALWAYS GREAT FUN and on April 21, the five-course dinner featuring Emeritus Vineyard wines hosted by Gibson’s owner Brice Cutrer Jones and executive chef Dan Huebschmann will be a winner.

OUR CONDOLENCES TO ORCHESTRA LEADER MICHAEL LERICH on the death of his beloved father, Leo, who was sick for many years.

REMEMBER CRICKET’S, THAT POPULAR EATERY? BARTENDER JOE MCCLURE was one of the reasons the movers, shakers and fashionistas jammed the attractive Gold Coast restaurant. Joe, living in Vegas for the past 10 years with wife Maryann, has died at 79. Maryann was a Rosebud on Taylor waitress, known for her personality and a giant beehive hairdo.

THE WEDDING OF KATE AND WILLIAM is getting all the press, but there’s another “royal marriage” demanding attention. The Wonka Ball, April 21 at the School of the Art Institute ballroom, is sponsored by About Face Theatre celebrating Illinois’ passing of the Civil Unions law. Co-chairs are Sir John Barry, Sir Dan Otto, Dame Amy Matheny and Sir Benjamin Sprunger. Who says all the titles are across the pond? Interior designer Nate Berkus is on the host committee.

“FRIENDS” ACTOR DAVID SCHWIMMER, SOON TO BE A DAD, is getting rave reviews for his direction of the new movie, Trust. It is a timely, important flick about internet predators. David knows about sex and teens, because he worked with the Santa Monica Rape Foundation making TV spots about date-rape drugs. Victims range from infants to the elderly, and there are hundreds of cases every day, Schwimmer reports. He is a founder of the Lookingglass Theatre Co. and comedy had been his forte.

A HOT TICKET IS THE JUNE 4 Gene Siskel Film Center benefit at the Ritz, where actor Robert Downey Jr. will interview honoree Jamie Foxx.

PHILANTHROPIC LEADER BEATRICE CRAIN was honored by family and friends on her 90th birthday.

A RARE AUTOGRAPHED PHOTO OF ELIZABETH TAYLOR from the 1940s is so prized that collector Steve Starr may never sell it.

CONGRATS TO PITBULL DIVORCE LAWYER KURT MULLER and his lovely wife Sylvia, celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary with a Florida vacation.

PLANNED PARENTHOOD, under the gun from repressive fanatics, has actress Kathy Najimy joining supporters May 5 at the History Museum for a Celebration of Healthy Families benefit. Honorees are Peggy Carr and Dr. M. Joycelyn Elders.

FANS OF STAND-UP COMIC DEBBIE SUE GOODMAN, author of Still Single and Still Dating, are buying her T-shirts that boast “Still Single” and “Still Dating,” and they’re meeting guys!

LINCOLN PARK ZOO LOVERS PARTIED AT JOHN REILLY PHOTOGRAPHY STUDIOS to preview the July 8 Zoo Ball, themed “Hollywood and Vines.” Tickets start at $600 for this gala planned by chairs Susan Erler, Rosemary Jones and Kirsten Rider.

SOAP OPERA QUEEN SUSAN LUCCI charmed fans at the Union League Club where she was interviewed by Kathy Brock. Lucci looks fabulous, dahlings.

WHENEVER WE THINK DONALD TRUMP may have more to offer than pre-nup info and tips on how to marry sexy women, he comes up with those stupid, invalid “birther” rumors to remind us he’s just a publicity-craving, preening, not-too-bright, middle-aged presidential wannabee.

GOOD IDEA, BAD TITLE. Pioneer Karen Calebrese, who promotes raw food diets for health and beauty, has a new book out with fine information. It is called Soak Your Nuts. Pretty Karen insists nuts are better if impurities are soaked away.

JODY, WE HARDLY KNEW YE … POLICE SUPERINTENDENT Jody Weis deserves our thanks for doing a fine job in Chicago, unfairly damned because he had not been a beat cop.

BIG MAMA ROSIE O’DONNELL takes Big Mama Oprah’s spot at Winfrey’s TV studio and so we have a substantial substitute bosom to cradle our weary, restless heads. It shouldn’t be too dull with flamboyant Rosie sounding off.

WHO IS THE NEW LOVE INTEREST for that popular young widow with major bucks, prestige, tons of friends and a sweet, savvy disposition?

STEM-CELL FACELIFTS are the newest looking young possibility promising rejuvenation. Medics use lipo to harvest cells and inject them where needed in your face. (We will wait for results and satisfied patients before we try this new wrinkle.)

THE SWEET SMELL OF SUCCESS … For 20 years, Contessa Helena perfume has been a big seller at Marshall Field’s — oops, we mean Macy’s — and this sexy redhead’s Bottega Contessa fashion center at 1 E. Delaware. It is our favorite scent — floral yet seductive, and lasting. To mark this impressive milestone, Helena (Mrs. Petros Kogiones in real life) has created a stunning gold-laced bottle, encrusted with crystals and ruby crown, for $150. It is called “essence of contessa.” Heavenly.

IT MUST BE SPRING, DAHLINGS, because the Gold Coast Neighbors are thawing out for their May 11 party with an auction, live music, cocktails and hors d’oeuvres at 1365 North Dearborn Street. Gabrielle Weisberg is chair.

TALENTED STAR CHRISTINE EBERSOLE, local success story, was socko last week singing at the Colony in Palm Beach.

WANT TO MOVE? Jennifer Aniston’s mansion in Beverly Hills is on the market for $42 million.

AS CHARLIE SHEEN continues his public meltdown, behavioral expert Beverly Flaxington says we are fascinated because we see parts of ourselves in his breakdown. We can all learn from his bizarre comments and actions, and avoid inappropriate imitations.

WHEN WE WERE IN PALM BEACH during our recent vacation, we attended an American Humane Association luncheon at Mar-A-Lago with Martha Stewart, who loves animals and has dogs, cats, goats, chickens, horses and people. The luncheon dessert was special — little dog houses made of cookies and chocolate with tiny white chocolate fireplugs out front.

STEWART, WHO ADMITS SHE LIKES RESALE SHOPS, was especially impressed with dog-lover Sally Kimball’s Classic Collections near the Breakers, crammed with designer clothes and accessories, the most inviting in the Palm Beach area. Wealthy fashionistas bring their treasures to Kimball. Sally, who has four canines, has created Emergency Bags for residents, with a bottle of wine, toilet paper, candy and dog food.

WHO IS THE ALCOHOLIC WIFE protected in her condo by a loyal staff who are well-paid by her long-suffering lawyer husband? She wanders down to the lobby in just a thong clutching her vodka and tries to seduce the doormen.

“NOBODY DIES FROM LACK OF SEX. IT IS LACK OF LOVE WE DIE FROM.”

—MARGARET ATWOOD

CONTACT: annbgerber@gmail.com or 847-677-2232


No Comments - Add Your Comment