CHEATING HUSBANDS WHO GOT DIVORCES have few regrets, according to a survey by Men’s Health magazine. An impressive 77 percent revealed they did not regret cheating on their wives and then splitting. And who can argue with 81 percent who preferred their new sex life after ending their marriages?

INFIDELITY IS JUST A SYMPTOM of a bad marriage, we all know. And the reasons men gave for wandering from hearth and home were typical of a union gone wrong. “She didn’t find me attractive anymore,” was one. Boredom and a need to escape were other reasons strong enough to ruin a coupledom.

“THE OTHER WOMAN IN MY LIFE was just too hot to resist,” was another situation.

THE LACK OF REGRET SUGGESTS THAT THE CHEATING WASN’T THE MAIN REASON THE RELATIONSHIP COULD NOT ENDURE.

THE STRESS OF JOB LOSS, IN-LAW PROBLEMS, inability to resolve basic financial problems or immaturity in one or both partners can ruin a marriage.

JEALOUSY, NAGGING AND INSECURITY TAKE THEIR TOLL IN A MARRIAGE, as do unreasonable goals. The reality of living with someone who has habits, dreams, or a lack of resources can unnerve a mate who isn’t mature enough to handle the day-to-day highs and lows of living with a complex husband or wife.

MONEY, FIGHTING OVER THE KIDS, SNORING, drug addiction and alcoholism are major reasons for divorce, says lawyer Kurt Muller, who marked his 25th wedding anniversary with lovely wife Sylvia on Feb. 6. “Usually other people are involved,” reminds Muller, who insists in-laws are often to blame.

LYING ABOUT MONEY by hiding assets, debt and bank accounts — financial infidelity — can further muddy the waters in a marriage already sullied by marital infidelity.

LOVE CONQUERS ALL? TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT FINANCES and the truth about cheating is not for the spoiled males who use Craigslist to satisfy an unhealthy hunger for a steady diet of young and stupid girls looking for sugar daddies. What do these gals get? No sugar. Just a sordid roll in the hay with a fat, balding jerk who lies and promises cash but rarely pays off. These are the cheating husbands who stay married because they’re no longer bored.

WHO IS THE EDUCATION LEADER who has left his wife and took his tall, brunette mistress to Paris?

WHO IS THE WEALTHY SUPERMOM whose heart is broken because she learned her darling daughter was involved in a car crash while under the influence of drugs and alcohol, in which a pedestrian was killed?

WHO IS THE WELL KNOWN BUSINESS EXEC coming out of the closet now that his beloved grandfather has died?

THE EMPTY BORDERS STORE AT PEARSON and Michigan will soon be occupied by Topshop, a fashion retailer from Britain. Clothes are more important than books?

DID COMIC MEL NOVIT knock their socks off when he played Caroline’s Comedy Club in New York? His gig was sensational.

THE CUTEST SIGHT IN TOWN was the 27 puppies the Anti-Cruelty Society rescued from a Missouri puppy mill.

HUNGRY? MITY NICE at Water Tower is offering a four-course gluten-free menu April 12 with wines planned by Alpana Singh.

SUPREME COURT JUSTICE RUTH BADER GINSBURG AND EX-GOV. JIM THOMPSON have items for sale in the Leslie Hindman auction April 10 and 11. Gladys Knight, singer with The Pips, has a fortune in glam clothes up for sale at Hindman’s on April 11 and 12.

HOT FASHION DESIGNER CARMEN MARC VALVO HAS A TRUNK SHOW April 14 at Neiman Marcus.

STYLE GURU SIMON DOONAN of Barney’s sparks the April 13 preview party there for the Rehab Institute of Chicago’s Women’s Board hyping its May 6 Peninsula gala.

DAVENPORT’S ROCKS Saturdays in April with Beckie Menzie and Tom Michael singing favorites.

PSYCHOLOGISTS ESTIMATE THAT 15 PERCENT of us experience some kind of sexual child abuse that leads to problems in later life — physical ailments as well as behavioral ramifications. Depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder can follow. Chicago author Licia Johnson tells the story of Joy Jenkins in her new book, Strength to Speak: One Woman’s Struggle to Make Peace With Her Past. It tells Joy’s tale of coming to understand her anxiety issues after the traumatic event she experienced as an innocent 5-year-old. Johnson hopes readers will be inspired by Joy’s story to find the strength to speak out and eventually let the pain and the event go. Healing is what is needed. Johnson has been working in the banking industry for seven years and has a bachelor’s degree in print journalism.

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST JOB? FOR ENTERTAINER MADONNA, it was working behind the counter selling Dunkin’ Donuts. You’ve come a long way, baby!

DON’T COME OUT OF THE CLOSET! That’s the advice of seasoned actor Richard Chamberlain who kept his homosexuality hidden for decades although rumors were rampant. In a recent interview in The Advocate, a monthly magazine, the actor cautioned, “There is a tremendous amount of homophobia still in our culture,” adding that especially if you are a leading man, don’t come out. As handsome Dr. Kildare in the ’60s, Chamberlain maintained a “straight” persona. Now 76, he came out in 2003 at the age of 69 in his autobiography, Shattered Love. It’s all about getting work.

RICHARD WARNS that times haven’t changed all that much. “Look what happened in California with Proposition 8, about allowing gays to marry. It was defeated. Don’t pretend we are accepted ... we are not.”

PAINTINGS OF DOGS ARE THE SPECIALTY of artist Ellin Blumenthal, wife of Dr. Lewis Blumenthal. You’d swear you can hear them pant when near one of her portraits of man’s best pal.

ACTRESS/ACTIVIST JANE FONDA does plastic surgery right. Not too much, and you lose a ton of weight first, so you get rid of flabby extra skin in the right places. Two years ago Fonda was here for a Planned Parenthood rally and she looked so grey and dowdy and lumpy we didn’t recognize her. Today, thanks to cosmetic surgery, which she admits, this 73-year-old role model looks about 50, trim and smiling and much happier. And Jane, who was into exercise in the ’80s, has new DVDs for those over 50. She credits keeping fit for her new lease on life with Richard Perry, 68, a record producer. Jane has been quoted as saying, “Relationships start out with sex and grow into love,” but she insists she will never marry again.

BACK TO JANE FONDA’S PLASTIC SURGERY. She had a lower face lift, which took the sag out of her neck, and removal of eye bags. Looks like lipo under her chin and around her face to firm and make her look more youthful. We doubt she had cheek implants — those can bring a chipmunk look to a face, or overly enlarged lips, a la Angelina Jolie. Jane Fonda looks like a more youthful, rested Jane Fonda. Remember Jocelyn Wildenstein, famous for having cosmetic surgery to make her look feline, like a panther or leopard? Too much surgery was a disaster and her husband divorced her, but she ended up with millions from the art dealer Wildenstein clan.

JANE DID IT RIGHT. Nothing drastic. No trying to look 30 again, just a fresh face and a new hairstyle. She eats right and has insisted she never, ever has dessert. And exercise is a must for a healthy life. Good advice from a smart, renovated star.

GLAMOUR ALERT … FROM JUNE 4 TO 9, the American Friends of Versailles are planning a “lifetime memory” benefit trip to Naples, Italy, honoring Princess Beatrice de Bourbon des Deux Siciles. Any event that Catharine Hamilton and her committee plan has to be super royal and fun and awesome.

ACTRESS BARBARA EDEN, (who hasn’t Dreamt of Jeannie after seeing her on TV?) has a compelling story to tell in her heartbreaking memoir, Jeannie Out of the Bottle. Barbara, who opened a restaurant on Oak Street in Chicago when she was married to Sun-Times ad exec Chuck Fegert from 1977 to 1982, lost her only child — son Matthew — to drugs in 2001. Today Eden is wed to architect and real estate developer Jon Eicholtz and she still grieves for her son and two pregnancies that ended tragically. When Barbara lived at Water Tower condos, she had a hot-tub in her living room. When she went to sell it, the tub was a problem until a trader decided it was perfect for his bachelor pad.

WHO SMOKES? ABOUT 1.3 BILLION MEN in the world smoke — 35 percent in developed countries and 50 percent in developing nations. About 250 million women smoke — 22 percent in developed countries and 9 percent in developing nations.

THANKS GOES TO INDUSTRIALIST BROOKS MCCORMICK, whose estate is giving multi-millions to five non-profits — Lincoln Park Zoo, Lyric Opera, Northwestern University, World Wildlife Fund, and the Museum of Science and Industry. Brooks, who died in 2006 at 89, left the $4 million proceeds from his 16-room co-op duplex at 1530 N. State Parkway to local charities in the name of his late wife, the popular civic leader Hope McCormick. She was active in all five organizations.

BRUCE HEYMAN OF GOLDMAN SACHS AND WIFE VICKI will chair the April 26 Facing History and Ourselves 20th benefit at the Hyatt Regency.

GREAT IDEA: PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON ARE ASKING GUESTS AT THEIR WEDDING TO GIVE GIFTS TO CHARITIES, INSTEAD OF TO THEM. Think of all the thank you letters they will not have to write.

“MAYBE IT IS TRUE THAT LIFE BEGINS AT 50. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out and spread out.” — PHYLLIS DILLER

CONTACT: annbgerber@gmail.com or 847-677-2232