IT ISN’T THE SIZE OF HER BRAIN that determines a woman’s worth in the workplace.

IF SHE’S SKINNY SHE’LL MAKE MORE MONEY. A survey published in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that skinny femmes make higher salaries than average or overweight women. If an employee weighs 30 pounds less than the average, 164, she will earn $389,300 more over a 25-year career.

HER FELLOW WORKER, at 194 pounds, makes an average of $9,873 less a year than her svelte sister. Why do employers view thinner women as smarter, more desirable employees? They see the image of an energetic, vibrant worker in control of her lifestyle. Fatter women can look dowdy, less attractive, less vital and less on-the-ball.

A SUPER SLIM WOMAN, AT 104 POUNDS, gets an even larger paycheck, as much as $22,000 more per year — about $40,000 more a year than the obese worker. Not fair? Tell it to the boss.

BUT WAIT! WE KNOW LIFE ISN’T FAIR. Fat men get larger paychecks than their thinner co-workers! The Journal report reveals that males 30 pounds overweight make an average of $7,775 more than the average yearly wage of $53,000. Men 30 pounds underweight make $8,436 less a year. A heavier man doesn’t have to worry about his worth. Males who were 60 pounds overweight make $14,889 more per year than their average weight peers. Go figure — beer bellies are okay on men but a tummy showing on a woman is bad paycheck news.

THERE IS GOOD NEWS FOR WOMEN, however. New census data shows more women are hitting the $100,000 or over salary mark than are men. It means one in 18 American women makes more than $100,000, according to the Washington Post. Higher education has been the catalyst. More women are getting law degrees, master’s degrees and Ph.D.s. Professional managerial careers have boosted their salaries. However, men still rule. One in seven men have salary that’s $100,000 or higher, and more men are in the work force — 56 million males to 42 million femmes.

GETTING A GOOD JOB AND KEEPING IT — AYE, THERE’S THE RUB.

WHO IS THE HIGH PROFILE COUPLE going on a cruise in a last-ditch attempt to save their 12-year marriage? And isn’t there a redheaded medical assistant hoping they don’t sail off into the sunset?

WHO IS THE RESTAURATEUR whose wait staff could make it in a Vegas chorus line? He insists that good looks and big boobs indicate a savvy, hard-working female.

WE OMITTED ONE HOT PLAYBOY PLAYMATE in recent stories about Hugh Hefner and his magical kingdom. She’s blond bombshell Heather Kozar, who heated up the country as Miss January in 1998. It snowed but Heather melted all that icy stuff.

VEGETARIANS ARE SOME OF OUR SVELTE, super attractive celebs and stars. They include Christie Brinkley, Carrie Underwood, Ellen DeGeneres, Forest Whitaker, Emily Deschanel, Hayden Panettiere, Vanessa Williams, Portia de Rossi, Shania Twain, Olivia Wilde, Natalie Portman, Russell Simmons and Tobey Maguire.

TV ANCHOR JOAN ESPOSITO was a favorite for years before she hung up her microphone and hit the airwaves. Gorgeous Joan took her two kids to Italy last year and they had an informative, fun trip. Portofino was their prime destination and we bring you a pix of Ben, 17, as well as proud mom Joan and Thomasina, 13.

ONE OF THE MOST VIBRANT, SUCCESSFUL CHARITIES is the University of Chicago Cancer Research Foundation women’s board, which raises big money to support vital anti-cancer programs. Their annual auction has always offered amazing opportunities like trips to Beijing, Egypt, Virgin Gorda and New York with breakfast at Tiffany’s. Tickets to their dinner dance have risen to $575 minimum and are always sold out. Supporters include Mrs. David Devonshire, Cynthia Renoche, Mrs. Thomas D’Aprile, Mrs. David Nuelle, Mrs. J.M. Thomas, Nancy Knapp, Mrs. Gordon Pollock, Barbara Sessons, Mrs. Edward Miller, Mrs. Robert Conrad, Anne Cox, Mrs. Steven Helma, Karen Manzari, Mrs. Harris Brumfield, Mrs. Michael Busch, Mrs. J.R. Carroll, Mrs. Henrik Clausen, Mrs. John Devoe, Linda Coleman, Suzette Flood, Linda Finkel, Kristine Kurachner, Amy Mazzolin, Laura Werner and Sandra Reese.

BEWARE MAILBOX THIEVES … The latest problem is caused when evildoers “fish” in your mailbox for checks, letters with personal information, etc. Some make trolling devices with sticky tape to drop into mailboxes. Police say this is done by desperate drug users hoping for quick cash. If they can snare a check, many use a pan of chemicals with tape protecting your signature and soak the check to remove all other writing. After a soaking, fishers remove the tape and have a blank check with your signature and your bank account number. They can inflate the check amount and cash it with phony identification.

A BLIND DATE brought love into Lyric opera singer/consultant Renee Fleming’s life via an engagement to lawyer Tim Jessell.

LOVELY LIESEL PRITZKER of the super-rich clan is engaged to handsome Ian Simmons.

JOHN GALLIANO LOVES HITLER? The fired fashion icon must know Hitler hated homosexuals and ordered thousands killed.

ACTOR/COMIC MIKE MYERS, 47, formerly wed to Chicagoan Robin Ruzan, secretly married Kelly Tisdale, his longtime love, six months ago.

SECOND CITY VET TINA FEY of “30 Rock,” has a witty article in the March 14 New Yorker about her birthing rite at Saturday Night Live. She stresses that “only to comedy does an obedient white girl from the suburbs count as diversity.” (But Tina is still the best Sarah Palin.)

BRILLIANT GRAPHIC DESIGNER Lee Kay has created a YouTube video called Annie-Motion about a blond gossip columnist — guess who? He once painted a pix of me, writing my column, and placed it in a porn shop window! Love this zany talent.

THE JAPANESE ARE FIGHTING for their very lives and their battle is ours as well. These are productive, hard-working, inventive people who will hopefully rebuild. Here are two examples of their ingenuity.

NEED A GRANDCHILD TO FIGHT LONELINESS? The Japanese have a talking, cuddly granddaughter doll that’s a big winner with women in later life. There is a shortage of children in Japan, which registers more deaths than births each year. The elderly will outnumber children two to one within five years. The coveted doll sells for about $75 and is treasured by empty-nesters.

TOYOTA IS HIP to Japanese oldsters. It makes a car with a detachable seat that becomes a wheelchair. Why don’t other automakers share this idea? People are living longer and caregivers would welcome an easier way to transport patients.

ANGELINA JOLIE AND BRAD PITT are perhaps the best known stars who spend time and money helping those less fortunate, but other celebs deserve applause as well. George Clooney, Mariska Hargitay, Jennifer Lopez and sister Lynda; Sharon and Kelly Osbourne, Katherine Heigl, Olivia Wilde, Brandy, David Arquette, Ben Affleck, Christina Aguilera, Nelly and Ke$ha are selfless as well, according to US magazine. Angelina and Pitt have brought aid to Haiti, Somalia, Pakistan, Bosnia and New Orleans.

ACTOR GEORGE CLOONEY BROUGHT HIS COMPASSION TO THE SUDAN after witnessing genocide in Darfur where 300,000 have died. Mariska Hargitay has made empowering women who have been victims of sexual abuse and sexual assault her main agenda. This star of “Law & Order” founded the Joyful Heart Foundation to help heal, educate and empower violence victims. She testified in Washington, D.C. in support of the International Violence Against Women Act.

ACTRESS JENNIFER LOPEZ AND SISTER LYNDA are dedicated to getting medical care for babies worldwide. They started the Maribel Foundation which brings pediatricians to patients via telemedicine. That video enables immediate access to help. Sharon and Kelly Osbourne have taken the plight of gay, lesbian and transgender youth to their hearts and are fighting bullying and seeking fairness. They support the Trevor Project, a national hotline offering suicide counseling and help. The beautiful Katherine Heigl cannot resist adorable puppies, and she supports the Compassion Revolution which offers spaying so the pet population can be controlled.

OLIVIA WILDE has Haiti on her mind and has provided a safe haven for kids as part of Artists for Peace and Justice. The goal is to educate kids so they can escape poverty. Brandy is seeking funds for a teen who needs a heart transplant and David Arquette serves the hungry twice a week at an L.A. food pantry. Ben Affleck is helping rebuild in the Congo where he was horrified to learn that the people have endured torture, rape and mass murders. Affleck launched the Eastern Congo Initiative to fund community organizations and told the world about the situation with a documentary.

SINGER CHRISTINA AGUILERA FED BEANS AND RICE to children in Haiti as an ambassador of the World Food Programme, which kept 90 million people from starving. Singer Nelly signs up bone marrow donors and singer Ke$ha raised $70,000 in a concert and brought 1,000 pounds of dog food for Nashville flood victims.

THE RESTORATION OF SIGHT was the goal of a benefit for the Midwest Eye-Banks held at an airport. This unusual event featured a private display of the Marquis Jets fleet by NetJets, exotic cars, a fashion show and some very attractive guests. Among the supporters are Franco La Marca, Anthony Contrucci, Jessa Baker, Kerry Bowler, Melissa Contrucci, Christopher Dovalina, Aliza Fulton, Scott Goodrich, Corey Glazer, Kimberly Halvorsen, Don Kiolbassa, Justin Lopatin, The Steve Lombardos, Greg Hyder, Bev Blettner, Ken Norgan, The Marshall Weinbergers, Marilyn Miglin, Sean Moran, Anthony Navarro, Kimberly Palmisano, Pek Pongpaet, Kimberly Rosha, Steven Rosengard, Lauren Stein, Morgan Stogsdill, Britt Szepsy and Sarah Tyler.

DOGGIE STYLIST TO THE STARS, and we mean the furry, adorable divas of the canine world, is a popular guy — Billy Rafferty, owner of Doogy Dooz. Celebs, politicians, even a Broadway producer call upon Billy to keep their beloved pampered pets groomed so they can trot anywhere in the world and keep their heads and tails up high. A dog care professional for the past 25 years, Billy confides that animals always responded positively to him, loved and understood him and brought happiness into his gloomy childhood. He’s so experienced with dogs that his clients consult him on behavioral issues as well.

“THE ONE THING WE CAN NEVER GET ENOUGH OF is love. And the one thing we never give enough of is love.” — HENRY MILLER

CONTACT: annbgerber@gmail.com or 847-677-2232

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By Lee Kay from Lakeview
Posted: 03/23/2011 10:56 PM

Thanks, Ann! Here's the YouTube link for your "Annie-motion" vid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32I_eBTVsoM