HE MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE but he might steal your wife!

MEDICINE ISN’T ALL MEDICS THINK ABOUT. A SURVEY OF 10,000 PHYSICIANS NATIONWIDE FOUND THAT 11.7 PERCENT admitted they could become romantically involved or sexually active with patients. Most of these men confided they would wait at least six months after treating a woman to make a move.

ANOTHER 4.5 PERCENT IN THIS WEBMD SURVEY revealed they were open to affairs, depending on the circumstances.

REASSURING IS THE FACT THAT 83.3 PERCENT of the doctors thought mixing love and medicine was a bad idea and “totally exploitative.”

GYNECOLOGISTS WERE NOT SURVEYED AS A UNIQUE SEGMENT but they should have been. The intimate nature of their relationship to patients must be considered. (It has been said that a male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.)

WE KNOW OF SEVERAL DIVORCES where husbands questioned the paternity of their children, after noting they resembled the gynecologist and not them. In most of these cases, the divorced wives later married their doctors.

IN ONE CASE THE HUSBAND BECAME SUSPICIOUS because his wife’s medic was “always making house calls,” in some cases four times a week. “My kids weren’t sick,” he told us, “so I questioned his motives. They admitted their affair and tore my life apart. We divorced and he moved into my house. After a time I accepted that my last two kids were really his — they looked just like him. I demanded DNA testing because the child support payments were huge. Before we went further, the doctor admitted they were his and ended the drama.”

OTHER ETHICAL QUESTIONS ANSWERED in the survey of 10,000 people were “would you prolong life supports even if futile, to placate the family?” More than 20 percent said yes.

WOULD YOU FALSIFY A PATIENT’S CONDITION TO GET INSURANCE MONEY? More than 16 percent admitted they would lie.

WOULD YOU COVER UP A MISTAKE THAT HARMED THE PATIENT? Only 5 percent said they could take this action.

PLAYING GOD AND MAKING LIFE AND DEATH DECISIONS weigh on medics’ minds and hearts. And some patients can make them forget their good intentions.

GOT A PROBLEM WITH THIS? Take two aspirins and call me in the morning.

WHO IS THE DRUNKEN BUM OF A HUSBAND whose wife is always black and blue from his painful habit of beating her with a frying pan? She tells concerned friends she fell down the stairs, or tripped over the dog, or walked into a lightpost. But one day she might pick up the family shotgun, or a knife, or a razor.

WHO IS THE DIVORCEE found naked and drugged out of her mind outside the door of a well-known bachelor’s condo in the wee hours of the morning? Doormen covered her and got her home safely.

REMEMBER THOSE TV ADS FOR CIGARETTES that showed hunky types like the Marlboro cowboy lighting up? The last such ad was shown on Jan. 1, 1971.

CHINA IS THE WORLD’S BIGGEST MARKET for cigarettes, with 18 trillion sold in a year. Packs cost 30 cents, with 67 percent of males smoking, or about 360 million people. The book The Cigarette Box reports that in Germany, the warning on packs reads “Smoking can lead to a slow and painful death.” In Japan, it says “It might damage your health. Try not to smoke too much. Be sure to observe smokers’ etiquette.”

NO BURGERS FOR STARS who are vegetarian. Their ranks include Alec Baldwin, Alicia Silverstone, Russell Brand, Natalie Portman, Pamela Anderson and Prince.

THE CHIC SMALL JUDITH LEIBER BAGS, jeweled and elegant, always had the cache of being glitzy, expensive and just roomy enough for a key, a lipstick and a hundred dollar bill. Today, with hard times, they are just large enough for a key, a condom and a $10 bill. Pals of designer Leiber are Bernice Kurtzman and Vicki Mills.

SIGNS OF THE TIMES: Men go into a drugstore and whisper, “Give me a package of cigarettes.” Then in a loud voice, “Give me a package of condoms.”

THE JAPANESE DISASTERS barely moved zany Charlie Sheen from front page media scrutiny. Mark Weyermuller was in the store Strange Cargo in Wrigleyville and reported normal-looking citizens were paying $22 for T-shirts with Charlie’s picture and the slogan “Winning.”

PARISIAN RENEE JOHNSON WILL BE INDUCTED INTO the French Legion of Honor March 25 by Christine Lagarde, French Minister of Economic Affairs, in the presence of French Ambassador to the U.S. Francois Delattre in ceremonies at Hotel Sofitel. Doreen and Peter Rogers will host a Ritz brunch March 26 for Renee, president of the Paris-Chicago Sister Cities Committee. Renee is a charming former resident of the Water Tower Place condos.

THE DEATH OF RON HELIZON, 65, popular doorman at 3400 N. Lakeshore has saddened all who knew this iconic figure in the gay community. Known as the “Polish Princess,” Ron was a writer and club owner of “Company” on North Halsted. Helizon was active in the Catholic Church’s outreach program for gays and lesbians and was lauded for his services at swank 3400. He will be sorely missed.

HOT TICKET IS THE TASTE FOR THE ARTS benefit March 22 at the Merchandise Mart for the Chicago Academy for The Arts chaired by Deann and Rick Bayless, Donna La Pietra and Bill Kurtis with fab food. Call 312-421-0202 for tickets.

NICHOLAS JOSEPH CUSTOM TAILORS has opened a showroom at 300 N. Grand Ave. The Fords and Vanderbilts have been customers.

WORST SCENARIO... Did you hear about the local lawyer who booked a $20,000 vacation to Egypt for his 15th anniversary? He and his wife got there when violence erupted. They got a plane back to Chicago but couldn’t land because of the blizzard. They made it to Dallas but couldn’t get a hotel room because of the Super Bowl. Finally back home, they booked a March trip to Japan.

DONALD TRUMP was introduced as the “next President of the U.S.” at a Mar-A-Lago Komen Cancer benefit and he and his ego loved it.

SINGER MICHAEL FEINSTEIN, married to Chicagoan Terry Flannery, celebrated his 54th birthday recently at his namesake nightclub in New York City with fellow entertainer Barbara Cook. Cheering him on were Kathie Lee and Frank Gifford, Doris Roberts, Regis Philbin and Judge Judy. The actress Gina Lollobrigida was a surprise guest at the Friar’s Toast for cabaret artist Feinstein. The Italian screen siren wowed guests with a fab emerald and diamond necklace set in gold. In the audience were David Hyde Pierce, Danny Aiello and Julie Budd besides the comics roasting and toasting Michael.

CHICAGO DESIGNERS HAVE THE SUPPORT OF THE APPAREL INDUSTRY FOUNDATION which sponsors showcases for them throughout the year. At the last “meet the designers” benefit at the Chicago Mart Plaza Hotel, supporters included Rose Becker, Bev Blettner, Sherrill Bodine, Cheryl Bollinger, Treopia Cannon, Scott Carlson, Cookie Cohen, Gregg Fishman, Dorothy Fuller, Susan Glick, Andrew Gloyeske, Susan Gohl, Sherry Holson, Hazel Barr, Rian Walker, Susanna Negovan, Tina Koegel, Donna La Pietra, Whitney Lasky, Peggy Lombardo, the Kurt Mullers and Dennis Minkel.

TWENTY-FIVE CREATORS of innovative women’s, men’s and children’s wear, as well as accessories and millinery boast these VIPs as boosters: Victor Skrebneski, Dori Wilson, Vonita Reescer, Maria Pappas, Tony Rossi, the Robert Zentners, Peggy Martay, Dr. Stacie McClane, Irene Michaels, Susan McCullough, Helen Newman, Donna Leak, Sally Jo Morris, Stanley Paul, Ralonda Rogers and the David Rubins.

WHAT WAS TOUGH GUY ACTOR SYLVESTER STALLONE’S FIRST JOB? Selling ice cream? Working as a nanny? No way. His first paycheck came from cleaning out lions’ cages.

YOU ARE NOT IN JAIL, but one in every 100 Americans is incarcerated. That’s the ugly word from the Pew Center report that tracks the surge in inmate population. States paid more than $49 billion on corrections last year.

DISADVANTAGED KIDS GET A CHANCE AT SUCCESS thanks to the hard work of the SGA Youth and Family Services. It has been serving our area for 99 years. Their goal is to support the emotional and social development of adolescents and young adults by providing therapy, prevention and services for individuals and families.

Author Paul Tough who writes about poverty, education and the achievement gap spoke to the group at their last benefit. Stanley Weinberger, lawyer and civic leader, received the Jean Meltzer Award.

SUSANA MAROTTA IS SGA PRESIDENT and Angela Barnes is board chair. Supporters include James Forhan, the Robert Noonans, Jack Albin, Lee Allison, John Goodman, Steven Gray, Marilyn Helmholz, Elaine Fiffer, Lynn Small, James Pass, James Hill III, Donald Belgrad, Mary Campbell, Luis Collado, John Cultra, Joe Feldman, Mary Kay Sullivan and Melinda Molloy.

THE AUTHOR OF WORSE THAN WAR: Genocide, Eliminationism, and the Ongoing Assault on Humanity, Daniel Jonah Goldhagen, spoke at the Spertus Institute for the group Facing History and Ourselves in partnership with the Allstate Foundation. He discussed Rwanda, Bosnia, the Holocaust and more as part of the national community conversations series. Bonnie Oberman is local director of Facing History and Ourselves. Tom Wilson is CEO of Allstate Corp.

DOG JACK WAS A TRUE, POIGNANT STORY made into a film that received much applause at the Gene Siskel Theater. It tells the true tale of “Jack,” a deaf pit bull, who followed his master, a 14-year-old slave, into battle in the civil war. The dog who played Jack was Piglet, found in a dumpster, and he was deaf. Hand signals were used to direct him. A local actor, Frank Kasy, also a professional artist, was in the film with Ben Gardner and Lou Gosset Jr. The flick follows the book by Florence Biros in retelling of their adventures. Jack was exchanged for a Confederate prisoner after he was captured, and hailed as a hero.

“FOOTBALL PLAYERS, LIKE PROSTITUTES, ARE IN THE BUSINESS of ruining their bodies for the pleasure of strangers.” — MERLE KESSLER

CONTACT: annbgerber@gmail.com or 847-677-2232