WOMEN CAN HAVE IT ALL?

STRONG FEMMES CAN WORK, raise kids, run a household, guide a business and have a career while keeping a size 0 figure and an unlined face? Ha!

ASK A WOMAN WHO KNOWS AND PULLS NO PUNCHES. GLORIA STEINEM, best known for her work with the women’s movement that’s inspired feminists for the past 40 years, says “having it all is a myth.”

STEINEM, WITH GREY HAIR AND A WRINKLED FACE but still attractive, told a Philadelphia conference on eating disorders for the Renfrew Center Foundation that pressure for perfection can wreak havoc in women’s lives.

YES, WOMEN HAVE MADE MAJOR STRIDES in the workplace, but their responsibilities to raise children and run a household have not diminished. Being size 0 and “keeping face” with plastic surgery and injections have become the norm, but it is not perfection. It is admitting failure and using band-aid methods to cope.

STEINEM SAID SIZE 0 AND PLASTIC SURGERY will not be the “admirable norm” if women speak up. Until men have an equal role in rearing children, wives and mothers have no chance of “having it all” because they are unfairly burdened. And it has not yet been largely accepted that men can do as good a job at bringing up children and caring for a home.

WE ALL KNOW THAT GREY HAIR AND SOME FACIAL WRINKLES ON A MAN are considered “character lines” and attractive. On a woman, not so much. Look at actor Harrison Ford — his signs of aging don’t keep him from getting starring roles. Can women larger than size 8 pass the visual test in Hollywood and in the board rooms all over America? Most female CEOs are trim and fit. Has lipo and laser helped? Probably.

WE NOMINATE FOR PLUMP AND GORGEOUS KEELY SHAYE SMITH, wife of actor Pierce Brosnan, pictured here at a 38th Chicago International Film Festival screening. She’s even heavier now but Pierce adores her. WHO SAYS WOMEN HAVE TO BE SIZE ZERO?

CAN YOU STOP AGING? CAN YOU WORK AND RAISE A FAMILY and look like a fashion plate and go home and satisfy your kids’ needs and your husband’s desires? Sure. With enough money and time for Botox, hair styling, a personal trainer, a nanny, a dog walker, a therapist, McDonald’s Happy Meals, Prozac, caring girlfriends, staff, kin, etc.

AIMING FOR PERFECTION? GIVE IT UP. We are all flawed and doing the best we can with the strengths we have. THERE IS NO PERFECTION IN THIS LIFE.

WHO IS THE SHORT, FAT PIG WHO IS STILL PICKING UP GORGEOUS YOUNG GIRLS ON CRAIGSLIST? After sex he promises them their rent money “when he gets paid next week,” and they never hear from him again. Who can they complain to? No one. THE JOKE IS ON THEM.

IT MAY BE LEGAL, BUT IT IS WRONG! A nightmare for grieving families is having the Westboro Baptist fanatics picketing and carrying ugly, inflammatory signs at the funerals of war heroes. For every “hater” there should be 50 “lovers” of our country and its military dead to counteract the toxic anti-gay Westboro slime.

THE 50 MOST BEAUTIFUL CHICAGOANS March issue of Chicago Magazine features an unflattering picture of Jennifer Hudson, and is noteworthy for its lack of the dozen ditzy divas who think they sparkle and rule this town.

GENIUS PHOTOGRAPHER VICTOR SKREBNESKI has an elegant and glam fashion spread in Town & Country after a 20 year hiatus. His camera captures magic.

CONGRATS to Circuit Court Judge Debra Walker, elected vice-president of the Illinois Bar Foundation.

CANCER SURVIVOR Yali Derman, 20, a former patient at Children’s Memorial Hospital, teamed up with Kate Spade to create the Yali bag sold at Saks. Sales benefit young cancer patients.

JUNE 18 IS WEDDING DAY for Hugh Hefner, 84, and Crystal Harris, 24. Unmarried Hollywood stars birth babies and laugh at marriage but Hef is an old-fashioned guy. Will he be a daddy again?

MY DARLING DOG GIGI DIED on her 13th birthday. I rescued her at Lake Shore Animal Shelter eleven years ago and we shared love, companionship, tummy rubs and more love. All dogs go to heaven, so I know Gigi is chasing squirrels and devouring steaks from Gibson’s. My pain at Gigi’s loss is bearable only because I am fortified with sweet, warm memories of loyalty and love from my classy, sassy, smart little canine charmer ... I love you Gigi, my true best friend. I miss you so much it feels like sunshine and chocolate have left my world forever.

FIFTY KITTENS owe their lives to PAWS volunteers Ashley and Michael Stamatinos who have been fostering cats for the past two years. They have given love and sanctuary to sick and injured cats, making sure they have a healing journey on their way to new homes … TOM HAY BAUER helped save pets after Hurricane Katrina and when he relocated to Chicago, he began changing the sad lives of neighborhood cats using the PAWS program of trap, neuter and release. Good neighbors all.

ANIMAL LOVERS who raised funds for PAWS at a recent Run for their Lives included Paula Lavely, Dena Noonan, Renee Chez, Jillian Evanko, Jennifer Toyloy, Linda Boasmond, Tobey Kramer, Sheila Miller, Laurie Magee and Allison Egidi.

WHY DID ACTRESS MARLO THOMAS move to New York City after marrying our TV talk show host Phil Donahue in 1980 and settling into his home in Wilmette? She has said they needed to find a place where they both could work and she didn’t see enough action in Chicago’s regional theaters. With Phil’s five kids, they compromised on the Big Apple and a large and welcoming apartment overlooking the river on the Upper East Side. Marlo is best known for her TV role in the sitcom “That Girl.” Her major thrust has been to raise funds for the St. Jude Children’s Hospital founded by her father, the late comic Danny Thomas. He got his start in Chicago at a club on N. Broadway Ave.

EVERYONE IS ALWAYS LOOKING FOR A NEW WAY TO RAISE FUNDS and the Steppenwolf Theatre uses the exciting and different “Behind the Curtain” interactive cocktail party. With props and clothes at the ready, guests could unleash their inner designer, play dress-up and vie for a spot as a model in one of Steppenwolf’s memorable costumes. It was a hoot. Supporters included: Bob and Trish Barr, Greg Desmond, Stephanie and Geoff Fields, Jody and Steven LaVoie, Carrie Schloss, Toni Smith, Carole Brown, Cynthia Curry, Beth Davis, The Michael Gustafsons, Stacie Hartman, Jean Heller, Sherri Kayser, Michael Kennedy, Michael LaTona, Jan Melk, Lynn Murphy, The Perry Pintos, Amanda Puck, Smita Shah, Matthew Shapiro, Curtis Spears and Sarah Tetzlaff.

JUBALEE, THE CHICAGO HUMAN RHYTHM PROJECT, is always a smash because it has the dedicated support of many of our town’s mover and shakers.

The last benefit, which honored Billy Elliot, had the enthusiastic support of honorary chairs Gale and Ardythe Sayers, and co-chairs Arny Granat and Irene Michaels, as well as Diana Harris, Theresa Gutierrez, Marilyn Miglin. Committee members were Julie Paradise, Rebecca Pavlatos, Dr. Rodger Pielet, Barbara Powers, Timo Rehbock, Sharon Rossmark, Joyce Selander, Roni Siegel, Ikrit Silverman, Claudette Smith, Richard and Diane Weinberg and Amy Volpe.

OTHER DANCE BOOSTERS WERE Lane Alexander, Judith Blank, Terrance Coakley, Elaine Cohen, Sharon Cyr, Alex Felton, Jim Harvitt, Shelly Hoselton, Lisa Julin, Irina Kaiser, Lonnie Keeler, Rhonda Kodjayan, Donna LaPietra, Jamal Malone and Todd Milligan.

NO, IT ISN’T OUR HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON, IT IS LOOK-ALIKE SUSAN GARRETT, a mainstay on the city’s charitable scene.

MANY SINGLE MOTHERS STRUGGLE to raise their kids without good male role models and the Fathers’ Support Group of Family Focus helps with conflict resolution, good decision making and how to balance fatherhood with work and personal life so dads can reconnect with their families. Family Focus also provides health care for young children, making trips to school safer, and fights the obesity epidemic. The group’s founder was Bernice Weissbourd and supporters include Christie Hefner, Lester Crown, Charles Benton, John Rogers Jr., Stephen Vick, Marjorie Benton, King Harris, Susan Manilow, Maria Bechily, Eric Reeves, Herb Laney, Nancy Meyer, James Hagy, Carol Kloster, Barbara Bowman, Chaz Ebert, Judy Langford, Arthur Nielsen III, Warner Saunders, Anne Tuohy. Photographer Jennifer Girard is another booster of this worthy group.

WE MISS COLORFUL BULL SPORTS STAR and former Chicagoan Dennis Rodman. Do you remember when he opened his own night club, “Illusions,” at 157 W. Ontario St.? He had the wedding dress he wore in New York in a glass case and a neon likeness that changed hair color. The peasants partied downstairs and sports fans who paid $2,000 for membership could drink and dine in an upstairs private dining room. Here we see “The Worm” with some of his Dancing Dollies who did a Vegas style revue.

HELPING CELEBRATE THE 124TH BIRTHDAY OF MIES VAN DER ROHE at Crown Hall on the IIT campus were Gabrielle Gonzalez and Joe Kirsch. They joined hundreds to hail the acclaimed architect.

“IF GOD WANTED SEX TO BE FUN, he would not have included children as punishment.” — ED BLUESTONE

CONTACT: annbgerber@gmail.com or 847-677-2232