MEAN GIRLS GROW UP TO BE MEAN WOMEN and their betrayal of friendships wounds their “sisters” forever.

WHO DOESN’T HAVE A SORRY TALE TO TELL about being called nasty names, being bullied, being dumped as a friend from someone you trusted?

THE HURT LINGERS ON. So writes Kelly Valen in her new book, The Twisted Sisterhood,

from Ballantine Books. She unravels the dark legacy of female friendships and it’s not a pretty sight. Kelly herself was shunned by her sorority sisters after she was raped at a frat party. So much for supportive friends you can count on.

THE EFFECTS OF MEAN GIRLS AND WOMEN linger on in anxiety, loss of self - respect, depression and substance abuse. The lifelong struggle women have with each other starts as early as age 5. Mean girls name-call and shun. Boys push and shove. Today, taunting and using Facebook to make hurtful accusations is common. Some insecure targets have committed suicide, so deep were their wounds from former friends or those who decided to hate them. Calling anyone fat, ugly, dirty or stupid leaves an indelible mark on their minds and hearts.

PSYCHOLOGIST FRAN JOHNSON GAVE ME THIS BOOK, after she read it to add to her knowledge of the cases she has treated. Jealousy, insecurity and lack of civility all take their toll in relationships. One “damaged” woman said that female friendships were fine as long as both women were equal. When one got married, or got a better job, or lost a lot of weight, the friendship was over.

GOOD, CONFIDENT WOMEN confide, commiserate, laugh and bare our souls to each other. We lean on and draw support from each other and the benefits are enormous. Bonds with women are the cheapest medicine you can find to help lead happy, healthy lives. Even the Mayo Clinic got into the act asserting that supportive friendships with a strong component of emotional intimacy are vital to a person’s well being and a major indicator of happiness.

TENDING AND BEFRIENDING IS A SOUND INVESTMENT in one’s health.

EACH OF US HOLDS THE POWER to contribute toward a more positive culture, starting now, with everyone. We have a shared responsibility to pay attention to the struggles of other females instead of turning away. Remember what Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Author Kelly, a lawyer who labored for a Chicago-based firm for a decade, wants women to be their best — without rancor, without expectation of any reward but feeling more like a good woman. Don’t be obtrusive, be friendly and helpful to other women, be sweet and genuine and help stop the parade of meanness.

WHO IS THE WEALTHY OLDER BACHELOR who complained to police that one of the “friendly women” he invited to his condo must have drugged him? She wants $50,000 for the video of them “having fun” or she’ll put it on the internet and he says he never saw a camera.

WHEN NASCAR SUPERSTAR KYLE BUSCH married gorgeous Samantha Sarcinella at Holy Name Cathedral on New Year’s Eve, she was wearing jewelry and a white mink stole from Laurie Davis’ Lulu at the Belle Kay salon on North Lincoln Avenue. A TV reality show about the couple is coming up March 5 on the Style Network and it includes a segment filmed at Davis’ shop featuring Samantha shopping for vintage goodies and dazzling gems. (The wedding couple served mac and cheese at their reception.)

SUGAR RAUTBORD sounds off in Town & Country’s Love and the Rich article with candid comments on marriage, cheating men, sex, divorce, dating and money. Lawyer Don Schiller is on their list of high profile divorce mavens. He brokered big bucks for R. Kelly’s ex-wife Andrea Kelly, secured the $168 million divorce settlement for Juanita Jordan (ex-wife of Michael), and represented Brian Urlacher and Robert Pritzker.

LOVE BLOSSOMED IN PALM DESERT for Brenda Sexton who was playing Scrabble with her date — she reached in for a word and found an engagement ring. Brenda and retired furniture tycoon Greg Nye haven’t set a date.

RICKY GERVAIS TARNISHED THE GOLDEN GLOBES WITH A TASTELESS HUGH HEFNER JOKE and his other material wasn’t too exciting either. We love wicked dish, but Gervais’ potty mouth has a forked tongue

NOT AS MUCH MAJOR BLING at this year’s Globes. Most necks didn’t have diamond necklaces. Since gems are loaned, why not spectacular jewelry? … Worst outfit? Helena Bonham Carter’s weird baby-witch gown. Most stars looked fab, dahling, as they should.

BELATED BIRTHDAY GREETINGS to Walter Paas, 87, a U.S. Navy vet and a great guy.

JAVIER BARDEM, NATALIE PORTMAN AND BEN AFFLECK led the stars at the Palm Springs Film Festival attended by Chaz Ebert, Malcolm Lambe, Linda Usher, the Bill Hoods, Terri Schwartz, Mamie Walton, Nancy Kelley, Pat and Teri Ryan, Jon Siskel, Albert Berger, Irene Michaels, Arny Granat, the Sheldon Goods, Linda Johnson Rice, Desiree Rogers and 1,876 other movie fans.

IN VEGAS, WHERE ANYTHING GOES, porn stars were given awards for their “outstanding actions” at the annual Adult Film convention.

WHEN YOU SHELL OUT $285,000 FOR A BENTLEY MULSANNE you get your car in any color you want — pink, puce or to match your evening gown. A safe, video games, or pipe holders can be added.

CHEF JOHO AND ARTIST TIM ANDERSON will host a Feb. 2 cocktail party at Everest with paintings for sale to benefit Research in Epilepsy.

ARTISTS BRUNO SURDO AND STEPHAN CEFALO are showing their uncensored paintings at the Ann Nathan Gallery.

A CENTURY OLD and she’s still a beauty! East Lake Shore Drive is marking her 100th year with a gala on March 4 at the Drake Hotel. Created by architect Benjamin Marshall, who designed five of its eight buildings, the Benjamin Marshall Society’s celebration for the anniversary is co-chaired by Jane Lepauw and Jennifer McGregor, reports Louise Edwards.

BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY … Actor Alan Wilder of Steppenwolf narrates the American Society of Safety Engineers’ new film, A Century of Safety — From Tragedies to Success. We take safety issues for granted that were born of need to improve and innovate for every worker’s good.

FAMOUS CULINARY EXPERT Thomas Schaefer, 43, Canadian chef who honed his expertise in Asia and Europe, is now pleasing palates at the Clare in Water Tower. Sophisticated Clare residents are savoring dishes Schaefer created as Master Chef in Heidelberg, aboard Holland American Cruise Lines, and other venues.

THE ONLY SON OF THE LAST KING OF ITALY, Umberto II, Prince Victor Emanuel (no relation to Rahm) and Princess Marina of Savoy attended the Savoy Ball at the Colony Club as guests of the American Foundation of Savoy Orders. It was their first visit here since ’98 and they were welcomed warmly.

JAMEE AND MARSHALL FIELD V and their dog- loving family were featured in the Paws monthly magazine. In an article by Alexis Fasseas, daughter of PAWS founder Paula, we learn they are dog mad! “Marshall and I grew up in dog mad households,” admitted Jamee. “My mother-in-law owned dozens of breeds … from Dachshunds to English Setters … Our family had five Boston terriers through my childhood.” Jamee and Marshall rescued their first shelter dog 14 years ago and he still enjoys chasing squirrels. Jamee Jr. adopted a Pets Are Worth Saving canine, Madison, and Marshall Field VI has five dogs and four cats.

THE MARSHALL FIELDS have left a legacy of education, a better environment, contributions to the arts besides the modern department store that proudly carried the family name. Field Museum, the U. of Chicago and the Sun-Times are other Field milestones. Marshall helped make Millennium Park a reality. Their four children, Jamee Jr., Marshall VI, Stephanie and Abigail continue their good works.

SHE’S FAT AND SHE’S THE STAR of the new TV hit series “Mike & Molly.” Melissa McCarthy grew up on a farm outside Plainfield, Ill. and was a pal of shoe designer Brian Atwood, son of Dusty Stemer. Melissa, whose smile could light up Philadelphia, was a standup comic who roomed with Brian in New York when both were struggling. We are a fan of the show and find their girth is forgotten as you get to know and genuinely like this huge couple. They are not just plump. They are king-sized in figure and fun.

BUT THE HOTTEST, MOST EXCITING NEW TV SERIES must be “Shameless” on Showtime, with William H. Macy, grizzled and drunken, and Emmy Rossum, heroic and hot. You see frontal male nudity and watch as a dysfunctional Chicago family fights to survive in a motherless household. Papa Macy is a zero but his kids are amazingly resilient and caring. You feel like taking a shower after witnessing the grubby sex and the life in a filthy home but the show is nourishing, not a downer. This series makes up for all the junk like “Jersey Shore” and the no-talent Kardashians. Macy spends most of the show lying on the floor, sleeping off his drunken day and in one heart-melting scene, his little daughter creeps downstairs in the middle of the night to put a pillow under his head and whisper, “Goodnight daddy.” Macy is perfect in the role but Rossum carries the ball. Early in his career, Macy was a Chicago actor.

CELEBRATING BIRTHDAYS THIS WEEK ARE: Kate Moss, Jim Carrey, Dolly Parton, James Denton, Michelle Obama, 47 on Jan. 17; Zooey Deschanel.

SARAH PALIN SHOULD FORGET DREAMS OF RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT. The latest Washington Post-ABC News poll shows six of 10 voters say they would not even consider voting for the former Alaska governor. She loses big to Obama in a hypothetical 2012 general-election test.

“85 BROADS” SOUNDS LIKE A POLE-DANCERS’ CONVENTION but it happens to be the name of a respected, global, New York-based women’s networking team and spearheading a mentoring committee is Lydia Fisher. She’s the former Wall Street managing director who wrote Cinderella of Wall Street and is now known for her monthly “Fireside Chats”, an inspirational and educational networking forum for professional women. Fisher’s three decades on Wall Street with Bear Stearns, Goldman Sachs and Salomon Brothers make her an expert on the current problems. When banks can bring down sovereign governments and economies with excessive debt and by gambling with fancy fantasy financial products (Ireland and Iceland are examples), we know that economic concentration of wealth and power is the problem, says Fisher.

“THE COST OF THE BAILOUT IS BORNE BY THE CITIZENRY,” Fisher continues. “Plus the human impact and cost are devastating. If big banks are too big to fail, they are simply too big … they cannot manage themselves. … We deconstructed boundaries. We let go of the Sherman Antitrust Act and the Glass-Steagall Act. We need regulation. … We created two economies — the haves and the have nots. … Logic would dictate breaking up entities wherein wealth and power are concentrated. Put back the laws that worked all along,” concludes Fisher. Implement sound monetary policy to avoid speculative bubbles and stop spending money we don’t have — Amen.

CONDOLENCES TO THE FAMILY of longtime trader Herb Young, 92, father of Shelly Zucker and beloved grandpa and great grandpa to the clan.

HOW’S YOUR 2011 DIET COMING? To help support your good intentions to eat healthier, exercise more, we show this fab pix of a slim, trim Marilyn Monroe to inspire you. You can do it! Stick to your diet.

FRIDA KAHLO, FACE TO FACE, BY JUDY CHICAGO and Frances Borzello, $65, Prestel, is being called an effective conversation with the famous Mexican artist that offers insights into her troubled life and times. Her intensely colored paintings are reproduced to great effect. The daughter of a German-Jewish father and a Mexican-Catholic mother, Frida was maimed as a young girl and suffered severe pain throughout her 47 years. Her days with Diego Rivera were passionate and strained. For Kahlo fans, the book is a tribute and an artistic treasure. Judy is a well known feminist artist best known for her tabletop creation.

A DADDY AT 94 is the record of Indian farmer Ramjit Raghav who lives near New Delhi. His wife, 59, gave birth to their first child and he credits his virility to a diet rich in milk, almonds and clarified butter. His wife is fine after giving birth to their son, and she sets a local record, too.

“NEVER INVEST IN ANYTHING THAT eats or needs repairing.” —BILLY ROSE

CONTACT: annbgerber@gmail.com or 847-677-2232