Cheating husbands big on Botox, bronzer

01/18/2012 10:00 PM

ANN GERBER

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CHEATING HUSBANDS are easy to spot for wives who notice the little things, and the big things as well.

PSYCHOLOGISTS TELL US that warning signs are changes in his normal lifestyle. He works away from home more, suddenly changes his hair styling, works out to lose weight, buys Armani briefs (or new sunglasses, perhaps Gucci loafers, a new Hermes scent) — all indications he’s seeing himself in a new role.

HE IS TRYING TO BE MORE APPEALING to someone. One wife confided she knew her husband was fooling around when she found cat fur on his pants cuffs. “He hated animals but now he is seeing someone with a pet.”

LIPSTICK ON A SHIRT COLLAR is old news and only surfaces if “the other woman” wants this man to be caught or he’s a real slob. Cheating men are usually savvy enough to cover their tracks, but their exciting new adventure often trips them up. “I always begged my husband to get hair plugs or a toupee,” a dumped wife admitted. “He was bald as a baby’s tush and he never cared. Then one day he shows up wearing an expensive lid and looked a lot younger.

“HE HAD HIRED A NEW ASSISTANT and I realized he was smitten and trying to be more attractive. He never lost his fat gut for me, but he did for her, and he left me and the kids after 14 years. Firm thighs, he told me he wanted firm thighs. I had never said “no” to him, ever, and had been a good wife and this is what I get?”

BOTOX AND BRONZER, manscaping below the belt, exercising and dieting are basic needs for many cheating husbands. The good news, and scant comfort for a wronged mate, is the realization that her husband will probably be healthier and better looking because of his need to seduce another woman. Losing weight, eating smarter, dressing better — all to enhance his appearance and up his market value — are positive.

BOREDOM CAN TURN A MAN TO SEX, cheating with someone other than his wife. Boredom turns a woman to shopping. It is no secret that powerful men cheat, but a study in the journal Psychological Science says cheating has its roots in confidence, rather than gender, and alpha women cheat, and want to cheat, just as much as males. Confident people cheat because they believe they hold power in the workplace. It gives them the nerve to cheat.

Gossip, gossip, gossip

WHO IS THE ADORABLE BRUNETTE who is leaving her husband and pocketing the $5 million promised in her pre-nup for 10 years of married life? She announced, with tears, “you are not my soul mate.” The money dried her tears and she’s off to Paris and London with her nutritionist and her mother.

WHO WAS THE WELL-ENDOWED MODEL nabbed by police for trying to smuggle more than five pounds of cocaine in fake breast and buttock implants? Her plunging neckline caught the eye of security officers who first thought she was just so sexy looking, until they took another look. She overdid the Kim Kartrashian boob and butt enhancement.

EVERY FASHIONISTA WORTH HER BLACK BELT IN SHOPPING has read and drooled over Michael Tonello’s book, Bringing Home the Birkin, about the Hermes Birkin bag that femmes die for. Dahlings, did you know that his muse, Sarah, his primary Birkin bag buyer, is a social butterfly from Chicago? With Michael, she has created a new forum dedicated to all things Hermes, the hermespurseforum.com which promises to be gossipy, fun and informative. … WHO JUST PAID $23,000 for a magnificent pink Birkin?

ALLIUM IS THE NAME of the new Four Seasons restaurant that opens in February on the lobby floor and it is the Latin for Chicago’s Indian meaning, wild onion. Acclaimed chef Kevin Hickey will be in charge.

VETERAN ACTOR JAMES EARL JONES, Jason Segal and Dennis Farina received awards at the Chicago Film Critics ceremonies held at the Broadway Theatre at Water Tower recently. Tree of Life was named best picture and actors Michael Shannon and Michelle Williams won for their roles in Take Shelter and My Week with Marilyn respectively.

HUGH HEFNER HAS HIS PRIORITIES RIGHT. He let his ex-fiancée Crystal Harris keep her engagement ring and the new Bentley but has decided he wants the Cavalier King Charles spaniel puppy they shared. Hef gave it to her but changed his mind. You can always get another eager young woman to share your mansion, and your bed, but a loyal, royal puppy?

WILL JAMES FRANCO portray Hefner in the upcoming movie Lovelace about Linda Lovelace of Deep Throat fame? Her flick is considered the first porno film with a plot.

LADY GAGA LOOKS LIKE SHE EATS BIRDS and worms and maybe grass. Just my personal opinion after watching this unique talent fly into our lives. The lady is no tramp and she’s proving it by working with acclaimed chef Art Smith on the creation of a new eatery, JoAnne’s Restaurant, opening soon in New York City. Smith has been busy with new a watering holes in Atlanta and Washington, D.C.: The Southern Art & Bourbon Bar, and Art & Soul, respectively. Smith’s Table Fifty-Two is one of the most popular and mouth-watering havens ever. The biscuits and cakes are to die for.

ART SMITH’S COMMON THREADS is saving countless children from obesity and dreary menus and his idea is so simple and sound. His chef-instructors teach kids basic cooking techniques and the importance of eating fresh, healthy ingredients. These little cooking classes change lives for the better in a simple, delicious way. Nearly one in three kids in America is overweight or obese and at risk of developing health problems. Common Threads shows them how to cook, garden and evaluate foods for nutrition so they can make lifelong healthy choices. Art founded Common Threads with his life partner, Jesus Salgueiro, and the executive director is Linda O’Keefe.

GILT-EDGED SOCIALITES AND A LITTLE EUROTRASH added flavor to the annual gala orchestrated by Brownie McLean at the Doubles Club in New York City. Flying there for the blast were Sue Carey and Sarena Weil, who later partied in Palm Beach with Brownie. Proceeds from the event at Doubles go to encouraging young scientists.

THE GOOD PEOPLE behind the Edward Touhy Guardian Angel Foundation provided 159 Thanksgiving dinners to needy families. Mary Kay Touhy and her husband, trader Jeff Silverman, started the fund in honor of Mary Kay’s father.

MAN ABOUT TOWN STANLEY HILTON is so proud of his grandson, Dallas Hilton, 12, named an acolyte at St. Chrysostom’s Episcopal Church. Dallas goes to a private school and is being tutored at home in Chinese. Stanley was also an acolyte when he was a teen and he spends much of his spare time guiding Dallas.

AN EXQUISTE, ELEGANT WEDDING united Thom Jenkins, a hotel consultant, and Dennis Kmetz, retired architect, at the Drake Hotel on New Year’s Day. The couple had been together for 21 years. Patterned after a Buckingham Palace banquet, their 94 guests were all at one table in the ballroom decorated with masses of white roses and orchids. Thom and Dennis will honeymoon in Nice, France in May at a villa they’ve rented. Jenkins was president of the Hancock Building board for several years.

FIRST LOOK FOR CHARITY, a preview of the 2012 Auto Show, is Feb. 9 at McCormick Place but men cannot get in unless they wear a tuxedo. Women just have to look glamorous. Proceeds benefit 18 charities. Tickets are $250 and two Cadillacs will be awarded as prizes.

CULTURAL AFFAIRS QUEEN Lois Weisberg will be receiving the Harvard Club of Chicago’s annual award for achievement Feb. 11 at a dinner in the Chicago Club, announced president Richard Shepro. Lois was Commissioner of Cultural Affairs from 1989 to 2011 and helped create Gallery 37, Taste of Chicago, Blues Festival and Cows on Parade, to name a few benchmarks. Her son, author and journalist Jacob Weisberg, will speak at the award ceremony.

HAPPY 126TH BIRTHDAY to famed architect Mies van der Rohe. His fans in the Society that bears his name, will celebrate March 27 at Crown Hall at IIT.

HOT NEW BEAUTY PRODUCT IS THE $19.95 collagen and vitamin rich Count Cory XOC moisturizing cream. Cory Bernstein, well known model for Gucci, Armani etc., and jewelry designer, worked with chemists and dermatologists to create this wrinkle defense cream that is a favorite of some Real Housewives and Mob Wives. In 2009, handsome Cory was named a Count of Pomerania and Latwia. His cream is found at Bravco and Amazon.com.

HIS TENTH OSCAR TELECAST will be super funny, we are sure because Billy Crystal is one of our favorite comics and he never disappoints. Eddie Murphy, who quit in a huff because his pal, Brett Ratner, resigned under fire, will not be missed. The Feb. 26 show should get a record audience but fans are fickle. Will Billy, 63, attract younger viewers besides the middle-aged audience? This big Hollywood extravaganza has to keep reinventing itself and if anyone can birth a winner, it is Crystal.

WHO ARE THE EIGHT SUPERMEN who have made the Gibsons Restaurant Group such a success? We’ve been asked this question often so we give a tip of our hat to the brains and muscle behind the one and only Gibsons, Hugo’s Frog Bar & Fish House, Lux Bar and Quartino. The hunks are Steve Lobardo, Hugo Ralli, Larry Shane, Gregg Horan, John Colletti, Bob Kanzler, chef Randy Waidner and chef John Coletta.

VOICES FOR JUSTICE, the annual benefit for Human Rights Watch, is in the forefront of efforts to document abuses and shape international responses, working hand in hand with local activists leading the push for historic reforms. Some of these activists work at great personal risk to bring abuses to light. On the committee for the last fundraiser were Marjorie Benton, Mitchell Cobey, Doris Conant, Karen Ehlers, Judy Gaynor, De Gray, Susan Manilow, Colleen Murphy, Bob Watson, the Peter Ascolis, Stefan Edlis and Gael Neeson, Jill Garling and Thomas Wilson, Carolyn Grisko, Ellen Belic, Elizabeth Cicchelli, Rob Buono, Ed Bachrach, Margo Blair, Richard Elden and Jeanne Sullivan.

RATING RAVES for his distinctive floral designs is innovative Carl Davenport. His lavish lush blooms remind us that spring will come, not soon enough, but with colorful beauty.

KATHY BROWN of Lincolnwood Towers flew to New York to buy a piece of Elizabeth Taylor’s goodies but came home empty-handed. “Everything was 50 times its worth,” she was shocked to see. It will be interesting to learn just how much of the millions raised at this auction will go to Taylor’s charities. We’ve heard her children want the bulk of the sale and only a pittance will go to her AIDS foundation.

THE LUCKY GUESTS invited to attend the 107th anniversary of Twelfth Night Masque are feverishly getting their costumes ready for the big night. This cleverly irreverent ball sees brave black tied or fantastically garbed and disguised revelers welcoming in a new social year. Masks must be worn. Prizes are awarded to best creativity in expressing the theme. This year it is British culture and history. Wow! Queen Liz may be cloned. The group skit performances are always worth the price of a trip to London! This private party, by invitation only, is rich in tradition and fun. Motto is “let good taste prevail to no avail.” Rule is no equestrians or mounted pedestrians. The cheeky invite was printed on “We are the 99% post-industrial revolution recycled paper.”

COCO PAZZO is marking its 20th year and owner Jack Weiss is planning a Jan. 23 through 27 Italian Wine Week with free sampling. The big anniversary benefit is Feb. 2 saluting opera, food and wine. The Ryan Opera Center at Lyric will get proceeds as rising stars warble at the $125 a ticket feast. Coco Pazzo will offer its new olive oil and vinegar line this month.

“FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS ARE LIKE NO OTHER RELATIONSHIP: UNCONDITIONAL, LOVING, SILLY, SAFE. THEY ARE OUR SECRET WEAPON.” —BEVERLY LOWRY

CONTACT: annbgerber@gmail.com or 847-677-2232



1 Comment - Add Your Comment




By Marilyn from Gold Coast
Posted: 01/22/2012 2:48 PM

Hugh Hefner's status has just increased in my mind. His choosing to keep his Cavalier King Charles spaniel puppy over "things" shows true values and integrity.