3 Invaluable Pieces of Marriage Advice From Divorce Attorneys
Sometimes, the only thing harder than having a happy marriage is finding marriage advice from a credible source. But believe it or not, divorce attorneys are one of the best sources for marriage advice out there. And before you object, just think about how many kinds of couples they see every year and how many types of marital problems they have encountered.
With this in mind, The Huffington Post asked several divorce attorneys for their best love and marriage advice. Here’s some of the highlights:
- A strong marriage isn’t just about love — it’s about tolerance.
According to Melissa B. Buchman, an attorney from Beverly Hills, CA, love will only get you so far in a marriage. Rather, it’s about having the ability to tolerate the parts of your spouse that you dislike. While the glimmer of love may fade, a strong tolerance will not.“As we get older, your partner’s quirks will only magnify. So if you can’t tolerate it now, you for sure are not going to be able to tolerate it in the future,” said Buchman. “Tolerance may not be romantic, but it is the key to a long-lasting marriage.”
- It’s okay to make your spouse a priority — even over your kids.
While this one might not be the most popular or widely shared piece of advice, it shouldn’t be entirely discounted. Karen Covey, an attorney and divorce coach based in Chicago, IL, has watched countless couples get divorced after placing just about everything as a priority before their marriage.
“We are all busy these days. It’s far too easy to put your job, your house, your activities and your kids before your spouse,” said Covey. “Don’t do it! While many people believe that their kids have to come first, if they don’t put their spouse first and their marriage eventually sours, it’s not going to be doing the kids any favors. If you value your marriage, choose to put it first.”And Covey has good reason for giving such advice. Each year, the parents of around 1.5 million children in the United States wind up divorcing.
- Love is about the little things.
Marriage is certainly hard, but taking note of the small victories and tiny moments in your relationship is one of the best ways to keep the love alive. According to Natalie Gregg, an attorney in Allen, TX, it’s important to stay present in the moment instead of getting caught up in the big picture.
“Marriage is work but worth the effort,” said Gregg. “Go on dates, speak one another’s love language and cherish the little things. Remember that love looks and feels very different as your relationship changes and evolves.”